My brother, Matt, turned 18 yesterday and the first thing he did was head over to the tattoo parlor. He had wanted a tattoo for over a year and had decided on this symbol from the Neverending Story with two connected, intertwining snakes. Of course, being the crazy tattoo-loving girl that I am, I couldn't help but tag along... so my brother, my mom, and 3 of matt's friends and I all went over to the tattoo parlor around 7. Being a rather large design on his upper arm, they decided it was best to break the tattooing down into two sessions and only complete the black outline and some black shading last night. I was surprised at how well matt took it. Mine personally hurt a lot, but I might just be a wimp and his was over more cushioned muscle where as mine was right over my hip bone. Two and a half hours later, Matt had a wonderful new tattoo which looks amazing! I couldn't tell you why, but I love everything about tattoo shops...and tattoo artists for that matter. The guy who did Matt's was named Jason, had numerous tattoos himself, went to Cal Arts and played Indonesian music in his spare time. How hot is that? He showed me some of his drawings and they were absolutely incredible. There was this other artist there named James who also went to Cal Arts, had tattoos and was wearing converse sneakers. I was in love. haha. I kept staring like a mad person at both of them the whole time. I'm convinced they think I'm insane now because I couldnt stop staring, so Im gonna be embarassed when I go back. But youve gotta have respect for people who are so artistically talented that they can tattoo their design into someone's skin and not fuck up. Tattoos are an addiction by the way. Once you get one, you just want to keep getting them. It was all I could do to hold myself back from jumping in the chair and getting another one myself, but I managed to resist. It's the same thing with piercings. Lures you in. haha. I am considering getting something pierced. I could always do my eyebrow again, but two times was enough. Ideally, Id want to get my tongue pierced, but of course my mom's really against it, and I wouldnt do something that upset her like that. And people would probably disown me as their friend if I did. Anyways, Im going to post a few pictures from last night that show a bit of the process, but this computer wont let me so I have to wait till I have my laptop going. Keep checking and Ill post them soon. I'll be taking another picture today now that its had a chance to heal...looks much better without ink and stuff all over it.

They're covering it with little things. They've got electric lights on strings.

As much as I was dreading it, I decided I better look up my grades for this semester. I got straight A's during the fall semester which blew me away, but considering that I had enjoyed those classes and didnt really enjoy second semester classes as much I'm not surprised that my grades were a bit lower. Here's what I got:

Ballet: I got an A, which surprised me because it was an early morning class and about 1/3 of the time I ended up shutting my alarm off and sleeping through the class. I don't have time to take this again next semester which is a shame cuz I felt like i was exercising. I wish it had been a pointe class.

Contemporary Moral and Social Issues: I got a B+. It's exactly what I expected to get because I wasn't all that excited about taking the class in the first place and I got B+ on about every paper and test I took. Don't know why I couldn't bump it up to an A- though. Oh well, it was a crummy requirement anyways. I do feel like I learned quite a bit in the class though...more than I thought at the time. I find myself rationalizing and arguing issues in a totally different way now.

Writing: I got a B+. The worst class in the world. It didn't even come close to comparing with AP Language or Literature, so I found myself bored out of my mind. USC's gotta step it up a notch. Yet this teacher was a surprisingly harsh grader. She would approve my rough draft, and then when i left certain things for the final draft she ripped it apart. This grade doesnt bother me though, Im just so happy to be done with the class.

Drawing: I got a B. This is the only one that seriously pisses me off because I should not be getting B's in my major classes!! I mean, I'm a graphic design emphasis, not a fine arts drawing person to begin with and this was a fine arts fundamental required class, so I understand it a little more. If I ever get a B in a design class I'll freak out more, but it still annoys me! Arg, I thought the teacher was nice, but who gives someone a B in beginning drawing? That bitch. haha.


I woke up sore this morning because I spend a few hours yesterday working on my room. I realized that before I could do basically anything else in the room, I had to rip down the wall paper border near the ceiling. Unfortunately, I had to steam it off which takes forever. The steamer is like an iron in that after you steam, you pick it up and it spits a whole bunch of excess steam and water. I accidentally pointed it at my face once yesterday. Ouch! My dad threw out his back, my mom can't really help because of all her stuff and I wouldnt want to ask em, so Ive been doing it on my own. But it's kind of fun that way....knowing that when it's done I'll have done the whole thing on my own. It's tough to manuever around all the furniture, I've been standing on dressers and my bed to reach the wall paper, I hope I dont fall off. So I'm continuing to take that down this morning and then hopefully start painting the walls today. If youre reading this and want to help, let me know!

Not much to update at the moment. I finally finished all my dorm unpacking after 2 weeks of trying to clear it out of the living room. Now I'm left with complete freedom (besides summer school starting soon and trying to find a job) to focus on redoing my room, which still needs a lot of work. I plan on starting to paint the walls tomorrow! Cross your fingers that it looks all right. So I don't have much to tell, but I did find this rather lengthy quote from Chasing Amy with Ben Affleck and Jason Lee. My feelings about the movie are mixed, but there is this one quote which I really enjoy and I think Ben Affleck covers it pretty well.



"I love you, do you love me? I love you and not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced attraction puppy dog way although I'm sure that's what you call it. I love you, very simply, very truly. You're the epitome of everything I've ever looked for in another human being and I know you think of me as just a friend and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you'd ever consider. But I had to say it, I just can't take this anymore, I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels, I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably like queer our friendship, but I had to say it cause I've never felt this way before and I don't care, I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this out tonight means that we can't hang out anymore then that hurts me but God I couldn't allow another day without getting it out there regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face, is to be the inevitable shoot down and you know I'll accept that but I know, I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment and if there is a moment of hesitation then that means you feel something too and all I ask is that you please not dismiss that and try to dwell on it for just 10 seconds. There isn't another soul on this whole planet who has made me half of the person I am when I'm with you. And I'd risk this friendship for a chance to take it to the next plateau because it's there between you and me you can't deny that. Even if we never talk again after tonight please know that I am forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me."

Did she have silky ears and a fur coat?

Observations about myself and why I really really really hate flirting...

I've been observing this for many years, but something recently has forced me to admit that I am incapable of flirting. ESPECIALLY in a big group, but just in general too. Yeah, flirting is crucial I guess if you want to establish any kind of closer relationship, but I just feel really fake when I attempt it. Like I'm being silly and not myself and I don't want that. Id much rather have real conversations with guys where we just talk regularly about subjects. What's school like, family life, favorite movies, music, etc. Compliments or observations are more important to me than playful teasing. I'm a fairly soft spoken, slightly introverted person anyway, so if a guy makes an attempt to have good conversation...that impresses me more than any kind of flirting. All this joking around and playfully stealing someone's hat or poking him(or whatever) is not for me and I think because I don't want to do that kind of flirty stuff, the guys I like think I'm not interested. Dunno how to change that without just giving it a try. Another technique I've noticed my friends doing is the whole verbal sparring thing with a guy which I really wish I could do. They are awesome at it. Being playfully quick like that is good, but again it's just not something I feel comfortable with because it's not me on a regular basis. I'm not cutesy like that and I don't want to fake it. I've noticed that I'm never one to talk in that I won't joke around about anything dealing with sex or guy/girl relations, but on the flip side of that if I ever mention something outloud it means I am actually prepared to do it which I guess is something I like about me. Games annoy me, so I'm not going to talk if I'm not prepared to back it up. I'd like to bypass all the flirting stuff in a relationship, but maybe that's what makes it fun or tells someone you're interested? I don't know. Anyways, I'm rambling cuz I don't know how to get my point across, but if you understand this horribly disconnected thought process and have advice, do let me know.

In other news, it's really quiet here. My dad threw out his back picking up a newspaper the other day, and he's been home from work for two days. I worry about him. My family is going to Pennsylvania on May 28th for a family reunion/grandpa's 75th birthday party! I was there last year too, but it was to check out Carnegie Mellon. I'm worried that all my relatives out there are gonna be bitter because I chose USC over their school. I hope not. It's gonna be incredibly humid when we are there. All of my 4 cousins are adopted from various places like Romania and Russia and are all amazing kids. It bugs me that if I had gone to Carnegie Mellon, I wouldve been able to establish a relationship with them and maybe even be the cool older cousin...but as it is Matt and I are just the California cousins way over on the other coast. Shame. I've been working on my room design a bit. I got around to painting some furniture today and will get around to cleaning the end bit of my dorm stuff this afternoon. What a chore this has been. I definitely know now that I don't need that much crap at school next year. Jessica came home from new york so I've been hanging out with her a little, and of course Tasha and Brigitte who have been on an exercise kick so I went to watch them play tennis this morning. Tennis just isn't my sport.

Rap on a table, it's time to respond, send us a message from somewhere beyond

For some reason, the idea of the supernatural has been coming up a lot in conversation or in different activities I've been around in the last few days and it's made me think about the realism of it all. I'd like to address it and clarify my own thoughts on the subject. One of the boys I know recently went to a psychic who told him a lot of information that struck me as interesting and specific. Ive been a diehard skeptic since a young age. Usually, one can pick out the trick used by these so called fortune tellers pretty easily. For one, they stick to very broad things that could apply to a variety of people such as "You will encounter struggles in the workplace at some point in your career" or maybe something like "In the near future you will come across a dilemma and your decision will dictate your future." Well...duh! Everyone encounters problems or forks in the road. So the psychic makes you feel like there's something very unique to you but in reality it's nothing that you didn't know was going to happen anyway and that can be applied to a million different occurrances. The psychic didn't tell you nearly as much as you filled in with your own imagination or the information of possible examples that you told the psychic afterwards to confirm their prediction. Another great trick is to say that the psychic is in contact with a relative or loved one who has passed on but that the loved one is ok and wishes to tell the person not to worry. Of course, we have connections to those who have died and wish to think that they are here still in spirit looking over us. I have absolutely no authority to say whether or not this is true. It's one of many possibilities, although from my own personal standpoint I don't believe it...but many people do so I'm not going to argue it. Anyways, usually the psychics aren't specific about this either, they might say that an aunt or a grandmother send their regards, but only rarely do they give details.


We just sort of fill in the blanks because we want to believe it. And it's entertaining to participate in even if you don't buy into it. It gives you chills and goosebumps thinking about the future. It's comforting to think that a path has been laid out for all of us, that there's a guarantee that we will be happy in life if we hear it from someone who can "see it" in our futures. From that standpoint, I would almost wish to believe it. How wonderful would it be to hear that i am going to be happily married, have children and live to see them grow up and have kids of their own? It would be so comforting not to worry about the job market or being unemployed because it's permanently scrawled in my future that I will have a healthy career. I'd love to hear of all my exciting romances that await just around the corner and that all I need to do to reach that future is follow the unwavering yellow brick road. Yes it would be great, but I just can't believe that. It contradicts every other notion and logic in my mind. My mom and I butted heads over this the other day when I asked her whether she believed in psychics and she said yes. I then asked whether she also believed in free will above all other things and defined free will as being able to determine what happens in your life and are not constrained by external circumstances such as divine will or fate. She said of course. So I don't understand how you can possibly believe in both things. You cant! Either there is fate and we are bound to follow it one way or another and the things we do (even if we think they are done out of free will) actually are part of the eternal plan. Or else we do have ultimate free will and the path we choose cannot be foreseen any time before we actually go and do it. I am of the mind to agree with the second option and thus cannot believe any psychic, no matter how convincing. Divine will is another matter, highly controversial, but nonetheless has an impact on my view of the reality of psychics. For now, I remain a skeptic.


I feel like I betray my gyspy roots when i say that. My great grandmother, Julie, came to America from Russia, but while in Russia traveled with the gypsies and passed on some things to my grandma and my own mom when she was little...I feel like I'm starting a new era though. I'll be the skeptic, scientific, logical one in my family and leave the mysticism in the past.

A picture from our favorite street in Carpinteria. My mom keeps saying she'd like to retire here...doesn't sound like a bad idea to me.






The waves weren't very big this day, but we had no intention of going into the water so we had fun. Matt decided he wanted to dunk his head in the ocean. This was a few minutes after a seagull pooped on my mom, matt, and me. How exciting.

Know this. Only one may enter here. The diamond in the rough.

So I stayed away from updating for a few days because I had some photos I wanted to post, but Im too lazy to go through all the trouble of downloading them and putting them online right now. Ill get around to it. Much has happened in the last few days so prepare for a super long entry. I think I'm getting alzheimers at an early age because I can barely remember what I had for dinner last night, let alone all that I've done the last few days. Let's see.

I've jumped hardcore into design work. Without a lot of people home and SO much free time, Ive been plugging away on a graphic design piece that is a representation of my dorm room. It's still in progress and isn't even halfway done, but I'll be sure to post it here when it's complete. I registered for my COC classes finally, and ended up signing up for Maya Applications 1 which is 3d computer animation and then Interactive Animation for the Web. I have to take an open animation lab too, so that means that basically all my Tuesday,Wednesday, and Thursday evenings are busy from 5-10 pm! yikes. They start around May 26th, so I get a few weeks of relaxation before getting into that. I wasn't able to sign up for the Dreamweaver class, so I got a book about it and read through about 30 pages last night. My goal is to create a website where I can display my artwork online and post a resume. It's really important for an artist to have a website...even if I am only a sophomore in college.

Sitting around my empty USC room for a weekend was torture, but I kept thinking about how nice it would be to be home and it really is wonderful to be here. I've been home for like 4 days, and Im already ready to run out of this suburban valley screaming and waving my hands over my head, but I'm making the best of having my amazing friends around and getting some serious artwork done. I went to the beach with my mom and brother the other day. Even though a sea gull took a shit on all three of us (its hilarious now, but not so much at the time), we had a wonderful time soaking up the salty air and summer. We are considering going to Disneyland either tomorrow or on Saturday. We'll see how that goes.

Matt, Brigitte, and I went to visit our old elementary school today! Saw 6th grade teacher Mrs. Gruber and had a lovely visit with her. Found out that she's a USC football fan and that she goes to all of the football games. I can't wait till football season next fall. I think that will still be a tradition i can go do with my suitemates from this year. OH! I got my housing reassignment for Troy East apartments which is what I was dying to get!! I'm living with Brigitte, Megan, Sonya, and Michelle...all of them are wonderful and will be great roomies. IKEA shopping here we come! These apartments are right next to the Row and only a block or so from campus, which is much closer than my original assignment. Checkout for freshman year went smoothly and now all I have to do is sit back, relax, and plan fun summer outtings.

The Blow movie soundtrack is incredible!! Some guy in my drawing class made it for me, and it has some stellar tracks. Yay for 60's rock and Cream and barbeques. Listen to it if you can.

Ehh...that's all for now. I'll have plenty of time to update this sucka later. Hope everyone's finals are going well...man am I glad to be done.

When there's a smile in your heart

Liz left yesterday and it was strange because when we said goodbye she actually started crying. An odd reaction because we barely hang out this year, but maybe I was mistaken and she actually did like me. Go figure. I finally got around to the task of tearing down the million and one posters and little things I had stuck up on the walls. And my mom came to take most of my stuff home, except for the stuff Im going to need over the next few days, so my room is now almost completely bare. I don't even like being in here. It feels like a ghost room and I would much rather have my final and go home. I'm not sure where I'm going to keep all my dorm crap over summer. Is it worth it to go through and unpack absolutely everything? My parents will probably make me because they don't want it piled up in the living room all summer and rightfully so.

A bunch of my suitemates are still here though and it's a completely beautiful day so Hilary, rebecca, Angie, Leona, and I got up early and went to Manhatten Beach. I got some sun, though it doesn't make me any tanner. I'm perpetually pale....it's a curse. Then I stood in the water for a bit and it wasn't freezing like it usually is when you jump into the ocean. We had lunch at this cute beach-side restaurant and got english breakfast tea lattes (which are surprisingly like the milk teas that I make at home anyway). We dropped angie off at a ghetto bus station cuz she was heading to san diego for the weekend and came back to usc. So now I'm stuck sitting in my phantom room, but that's alright. Gotta start studying for that pesky philosophy final anyway. The next two days are gonna crawl by.

I REALLY want to go dancing. Yes?

I dub you Pinocchio’s conscience, counselor in moments of temptation and guide along the straight and narrow path

What a nice few days this has been. Yesterday Tasha surprised me by coming to USC for the night!! I love that so many of my high school friends live close enough to usc to visit. It was such a great surprise because I had no idea that she was coming and I really felt in need of a girls night with her and Brigitte. I miss you caitlyn and wish you were here too! I felt like I needed to talk to them because I'm going through a bit of an internal conflict right now that i can't even begin to get into and definitely shouldn't be talking about on a blog. I just feel at the verge of something....a transition or growing up or whatever it is, and I needed my girls to tell me that I wasn't crazy. It was something that was really bothering me, but I feel slightly better about it now. Either way, I think I am going to make an important decision about it soon. I guess being wrong is really horrible in this particular situation. Having people here made me want summer very badly so that we talk all the time.

I have my final on Monday, which is sooo far away! I would almost rather just have it today and get it over with and be able to go home. Everyone in my suite is packing and some are leaving today. It's going to be really lonely sitting around here all weekend with 3/4 the suite gone. I went to study yesterday and found my new favorite spot on campus. There's this place in between Taper Hall and Bing Theater where there's a large grassy slope. It's shady with a bunch of oak trees and some gorgeous trees with purple flowers. I took my books out there yesterday, laid in the shade, and studied a bit and it was the nicest spot I've found to study all year. Incredibly peaceful. I'm going to go back there tomorrow afternoon.

I just wanted to say something to my suitemates who may be reading this and tell you how much I've appreciated all of you this year. I was scared shitless coming to college, and because of the things we have gone out and done this year I feel like I've grown up so much more within the span of a year than I have in a long time. I don't want to get all mushy and sickening, but did want to tell you that these memories, too many to recount them all here, will stay with me for years to come. Football games have been the best, where we all dressed in red and gold and went tailgating. The parties have been the best I've ever been to and I wouldn't have wanted to share that with anyone else. Even hanging out in the suite, being goofy, and watching movies or hours upon hours of felicity have made me feel like I know you all so well. Nothing is going to be exactly like this freshman year and mainly I just wanted to thank you for keeping me sane through all of it. College can be a big change and more than some people could handle, but I always felt like I had a support structure here. I'll miss you over summer but I'm confident we'll have as many good times next year and just add on to the memories from this year. I love you!

The peace the evening brings

I don't have anything to do this week so Im updating a lot. Not meaning to, I ate only about 350 calories yesterday. I blame it on having to scramble to finish art project rather than get breakfast or lunch. Eeek, gotta watch it. NO WAY am I falling into that shit again so Im gonna go grab lunch in a few minutes.

Amoeba and melrose today! I can't wait to get out and spend some time in the city while I can. In order to get hyped up over summer, I made a list of things I want to do.

A few things i want to do this summer:

1. Go to the beach in the evening with friends, lay out blankets and a night picnic, have someone play guitar while we all sit around a campfire, and be romanced (not by my friends of course, haha). hey, a girl can dream.
2. Watch Disney movies with Jess and make popcorn! Long overdue
3. Hang out with my girls and they can bake for me haha since I really don't enjoy baking. Not so much that I don't enjoy it, I feel like I always get in the way or screw it up. Like that time I had seltzer water and had accidentally shaken it up and then opened it moments later only to get squirted profusely with seltzer. I think I'm incapable of food preparation.
4. Disneyland!! Although I think my season pass expires in June so I wont be able to go much over summer. That kills since it is my favorite place to be. If I get money, Ill buy another one, but for now I want to go as much as possible before it expires.
5. Go dancing...assuming I can find a non-scummy club and get an even number of guys to go with us. The one time I went before was really fun even though the club was a little sketchy and I can't salsa for the life of me. But with the lack of college parties to go to during the summer, I'll have to find another outlet for dancing.
6. Go to Magic Mountain. Having worked there and having a number of very bad dates at the park throughout high school, I was repulsed by it for a few years, but a lot of time has passed so now I'm ready to go back and actually have a nice time. Just DONT make me ride the high rollercoasters. Im not kidding when i say Im really scared of heights.
7. One thing I always really look forward to is the 4th of July fireworks in Fillmore. My family always goes in the early evening and set up a picnic. Then we sit around and read and then watch these amazing fireworks at night with a whole bunch of other local picnic people. Its one of my favorite things all year. And of course you must take time out to think of Christmas.
8. Take a pointe ballet class. Pointe is beautiful and I miss it so much, and yes, I want my feet to get ripped to shit.
9. Go swimming and be okay with wearing a bathing suit.
10. Finally, I want to go to concerts. My brother wants to go to the Ataris concert in mid June which Im excited about because I can search for my incredibly gorgeous techie. I also need to go see Jon Brion at the Largo a few times over summer and any other concerts I can possibly go to. Can't get enough.

You see Pige, when you’re footloose and collar-free you take nothing but the best

As the last week of being at USC goes by, I find my room looking more and more bare. Liz took down all her posters and packed up her books so her side is entirely white and empty. She's leaving on Friday afternoon. We are going to try and hang out tomorrow afternoon. For the last few weeks Ive been dying for these few weeks to fly by so I can be home and enjoy the summer, but now that it's right upon me I find that Im appreciating these last few days a lot more. I've been packing stuff up and sending it home in trips, my parents are the coolest for driving down here so much and carting all my crap home. I accumulated a whole lot more than I brought to school last August. I don't like empty dorm rooms. I'm trying to decide whether to go home for a day this weekend seeing as I only have the one final on monday to study for, but on the other hand Id kind of like to stay here and soak up as much USC as I can. I'll be deprived of it all summer. I'm mainly optimistic about the upcoming days and weeks though. I might go to pitzer with brigitte one last time to see everyone there after monday, but nothing's really planned yet.

I forgot to register for my COC classes today so I have to wait until monday. What a hassle. I decided on Intro to Maya Animation, Interactive Animation for the Web (basically Flash), and Dreamweaver. I hope there's room in all those classes. Ill be very computer savvy after it's all finished. Had my last drawing critique today, and good riddance! No more scrambling in the morning to scribble out an entire drawing project or getting covered in charcoal that won't wash off for days no matter how much you scrub. I'm not a fine artist and Ive come to accept that. haha, give me a computer any day.

Today's a very important day to me for other reasons though. I don't often like to bring this up because 1) It's probably the most personal thing to me ever (i can deal with most other things people throw at me) and 2) I don't want to seem like I'm whining or saying that my life has been so hard and poor me, look what I lost. Most everyone has some pretty bad shit in their life and from what I've found, if you let it consume you, then youre gonna have some pretty big problems and complexes. Instead though, Id rather this be a tribute and just to pay homage to someone's memory. Anyways, today is May 4th, and this is the day that my sister died. My sister, Andrea, for those of you who don't know, was a year older than me and died when i was very young so that I never got the chance to know her as well as I wouldve liked. Nonetheless, her presence even for a short time has made such a huge impact on my life. About this time of year I like to take time to think about her because my family has made it a point to not talk about it. I dont even know a lot of the circumstances of her death, but I can only imagine the amount of pain that my parents went through and the strength that they had to carry on and be as cool to us as they were. What kind of relationship could I have if she was alive all these years? Would I have turned out the same or radically different? Would we look alike? It would have been an amazing gift to have a big sister and knowing that I did for a short while and it was taken away from me makes me sadder than I can say. No point in looking back like that because you can drive yourself crazy. I've visited the grave in Colorado a few times and sometimes I just want to rage at fate (not that i really buy into fate or destiny) for not allowing things to be perfect, but at this point in my life I like to look back with happiness that she was around at all and to tell the world and remind myself that there was this unbelievable little girl, her name was andrea, and she left far too soon.

Anyways, definitely enough of that. You won't hear about that until next year Im sure. I'm having a craving to go dancing, so anyone who would also like to go dancing this summer, please let me know and we'll set something up. Tomorrow Im going on an adventure on the MTA bus to sunset and melrose with some excellent usc girls. Must limit the amount of cash I bring for fear of seeing too much I like and buying it all. Ill update soon with how that went.

Dazed and distracted, can't you tell?

I'm sitting here killing time until I can wash this really burny, icky dye out of my hair and get back to a normal brown color. Not that I didn't love having the purple, but it did pose a number of problems.

1. The dye would only last a week and would quickly fade into this blond gray which was hideous
2. I would wake up in the morning with purple on my pillow case, even though the dye company claimed it wouldn't come off on anything
3. Having to dye my hair once a week makes me nervous that my hair would fall out if I kept doing it so I better stop asap.
4. I constantly had purple tinged hands...made me look like i had bad circulation
5. I couldn't wear red, one of my favorite colors, or any color that didn't go with purple

So soon it'll be normal again. I'm heading back to school tomorrow so that I can finish up my final art project of the year, go to my critique on tuesday, then just hang around until the 10th. I have a few days where I don't need to be studying for my philosophy final (5 days is just too long to devote to studying for one final). I'm thinking it would be nice to take some day trips with my suitemates, if they aren't buried in work. Angie and I are planning a trip to amoeba and melrose browsing on either wednesday or thursday. I also would like to set aside a day to hang out with liz. I think we actually did non-school things together a total of twice this year. We were never very good friends throughout the year and I'm sure a lot of the fault in that is mine, but it would be cool to have a day where we could just hang out together because good, bad, or indifferent, this year has made a huge impact on my life. I'm pretty free from then until the tenth so if you are at usc and want to hang out in that time, let me know.

Had to sit through a 4 hour church planning meeting last night. It dragged on and on. i was never much for organization and planning, I'd rather just attend. It's strange being home and knowing that it's basically summer. The entire last month I've been dying for it, but now that it's here Im worried that I won't have enough to do and that I'm really going to miss my suitemates and usc friends. On the one hand, it's going to be great to have endless time to hang out with my home friends and do a bunch of things we have been talking about doing all year. I've been lucky enough to see them over breaks, but summer will allow more time to visit without feeling rushed and like we have to squeeze it into a short period of time. Movies, going dancing, eating popcorn, shopping trips, concerts, and girl nights. On the other hand, Im going to miss everyone and it's so much easier to lose weight at school. At home, Im constantly being nagged to eat meals all day (unfortunately, you can't really avoid that in a semi-russian family), but at school if I decide not to eat, no one makes me. Not that it did much good this year. I will probably gain 50 pounds. Also, there will be a shortage of cute, available guys my age over summer. During the year at usc, there are tons, i mean youre surrounded by guys your own age. Finally after a million years, got my mind off one boy...only to get interested in another? arg, vicious cycle. No more details about that, hehe sorry. Here, there are very rarely cute guys, and if they are, more than likely they are in high school because all the college people are off at college! ewwww. I think things will be looking up when a lot of people start coming home in mid-may though and i remain very excited about upcoming things.

pictures

Here's that picture of the 126 that I said I'd post. Hope you like it. Oh, and I just realized that when I was trying to manage my blogs, i accidentally erased the one from friday morning, arg, oh well. I am too lazy to rewrite it.




This one is from a few weeks ago when we went to IKEA. Cuz some of you haven't seen the purple yet. My hair really doesn't grow. Doomed to short hair forever!

And the sun's from the west and the sand in the glass is right

Upon arriving at home and laying around for several hours being absolutely lazy and just soaking in the fact that I could sit there and have no classes or anything of importance to go to, I decided that it would be nice to drive down Highway 126 to Carpinteria. One of these days I would like to go way past Carpinteria and just keep driving down the coast until i reach San Francisco. Anyone want to take a mini-trip? There's a train that goes up the coast too so that we wouldn't have to worry about gas money or driving and could just enjoy the views. It'll be an adventure. I was starting to feel a little depressed that I would be stuck here in SCV for the entire summer. I can always handle weekends here and there or just a few days, but being here the whole summer amongst the many car dealerships, soccer moms, and teenage mallrats makes me want to jump off a bridge. And I wanted to spend the evening with my parents, so we hopped in the car and drove down there. The drive is beautiful! It's amazing that some place so close to the horrible and ugly-as-sin Santa Clarita can be totally different and pretty. I think it's pretty at least. For those of you who haven't been down that way, there are orange orchands lining the roads on both sides and not a lot of development except for the occassional house here and there. I brought my Ipod, one of the hundreds of times it's come in handy this year, and listened to some music and it was perfect. (chances are if you see me on campus, I'll have my ipod going. Maybe it's so that I don't have to talk to people as I walk by) Very relaxing.

By the time we left and got down there, Francisco's fruit stand was closed already, so I wasn't able to get my carmalized cashews or dried apricots that I really like. That might warrant a separate trip by itself. We got to Carpinteria around 8 and had dinner at the Japanese restaurant next to Giovanni's pizza place. It was alright, but I wish we had gone to Giovanni's. We always go to Giovanni's. I feel almost like a traitor. Walked down to the beach, which I haven't seen in a few months, and stuck my feet in the sand and watched the waves and thought about how nice it'll be to be able to come to the beach more this summer. I'd rather go in the evening though, I think this summer's gonna be a scorcher.

I was supposed to go to disneyland tomorrow, but now the plans have changed. Damn. I'm going to go hook up my laptop so that I can post the picture I took of the hills, so check back in a few minutes if the picture isn't up right above this entry.