Who were your gifts from?

For as long as I can remember, instead of saying "from mom and dad" on all the gifts, my mom comes up with funny names for who gave us the presents. This year was a good batch. We got gifts from Smoe, Spongebob, Laura Bush, The Ataris, Captain Koswalski, a drug dealer, harry potter, john kerry (my mom said it's only fair since laura bush stopped by with a gift), captain barbosa, He Whose Name Shall Not be Mentioned, Taz, Frodo, Hermione, Dorothy Gail from Kansas, the Ladybugs in the park, billy bob thorton, and michael moore. haha.

Christmas

Christmas was very nice today. My family and I opened gifts and then on a whim drove down to Carpinteria to watch the sun go down on the beach. I got more gifts than i deserved, but they are all wonderful. Not telling my parents what i wanted was a good idea because I was pleasantly surprised by the presents i did get:

1) a black peacoat. I've never had one, it is perfect and timeless and will probably last me the next couple of years.
2) a JBL ipod on-stage stand with speakers. Great for listening to music when I'm not around a computer or big sound system. Plus, JBL is the best cuz my dad works there!
3) a gorgeous skirt and sweater from New York Learners. Thanks mom!
4) a scarf
5) 2 pairs of heels
6) Shrek 2, Cabaret, The Maltese Falcon, Casablanca, and Moulin Rouge on DVD
7) an England calander and map from Adrianne. That was so nice of you!
8) a tongue ring from matt's girlfriend
9) a New Orleans jazz band playing christmas songs...random

FIRSTS
First best friend: Probably Sophie in kindergarten. Her family moved to England in first grade and now she lives in Bath and has an awesome british accent. Damn her.
First car: white 95 saturn which was stolen by my brother when i went to school. No matter, I dont need a car at school.
First screen name: veggiegurl4th i think
First Purchased CD: I think it was probably Carol King's tapestry. That or the Phantom of the Opera, i was really into musicals as a kid.
First funeral: The first funeral I went to was my grandpa Matty's. He had a heart attack when I was 6. I don't remember much and i was crying continuously, but the incense they were burning in the russian orthodox church is a smell that will stay with me forever.
First pets: We used to own rats when i was little. I would name them things like Ratagon and Mr. Rat. We must have gone through at least 15 rats over the span of my childhood (not all at the same time, i was not the pied piper).
First tattoo: the tinkerbell one on my hip and i think it'll probably be the last
First credit card: Visa, but I dont really use it. I hate credit cards.
First true love: Well, my first boyfriend was Robert in kindergarten. He gave me a ringpop before i moved away. But I don't think I've ever really been in love.
First enemy: this girl megan I used to be in ballet with. I thought she was such a snob
First musician you remember hearing in your house: John Lennon

LASTS
Last cigarette: I have really bad asthma so I don't smoke. Well that, plus the whole lung cancer thing, ya know.
Last kiss: a mistake
Last library book checked out: It was a design book from the art and architecture library. I returned it late so I owe them $5. We'll see if they get it before I graduate.
Last movie seen: I saw Spanglish with my dad last night. I actually enjoyed it 
Last beverage drank: wild cherry pepsi
Last food consumed: veggie sushi rolls at lunch
Last crush: one I'm getting over finally which is nice so i can move on to someone else
Last phone call: I left a message for jessica to get her new york university butt over here and hang out with me
Last time showered: This morning
Last shoes worn: black converse
Last CD played: Elliot Smith "From a Basement On the Hill"
Last item bought: i bought a christmas gift for my mom the other day
Last disappointment: That George Bush got reelected
Last time wanting to die: I've never wanted to die
Last shirt worn: I'm wearing a vintage looking mickey mouse tshirt right now
Last song you sang: my mom and I were singing along to Silver Bells today. Good thing you weren't there, it was scary
Last word you said: "bye". My brother was going somewhere


CURRENTS
Current mood: happy 
Current music: i've been listening to Avenue Q, this new broadway musical a lot lately. And the usual Elliott Smith, Jon Brion, Beatles, and Shins i always listen to.
Current taste: I'm assuming this means style taste, so I'm going to say "1960's British Invasion/Mod"
Current hair: I just got it done today! Still shoulder length, but I am now a redhead and have long thick bangs. Still deciding if I like the cut. Redheads have more fun.
Current clothes: Mickey shirt, jeans, converse, and zip up hoodie...my uniform pretty much 
Current longing: to get my dream internship for summer
Current desktop picture: Big Ben in London framed by really leafy green trees..beautiful 
Current favorite artist: I'm into 1960's pop art and music posters so I'd say Martin Sharp, oh and Sal Bass who did the Vertigo and other movie posters, and Kara Walker's work is awesome too.
Current book: I'm still reading The Da Vinci code because i am slow and don't pick it up to read very often
Current color of toenails: i don't often paint my toenails 
Current time wasting wish: sleep, lots and lots of sleep. And reading a book the entire day, but it doesn't matter because you're so wrapped up in it.
Current hate: i dont know
What is in your CD player?: I just got my ipod back from the shop and have reloaded it with all my songs so "everything" to answer the question 
What is under your bed?: Bins full of shoes that I never really wear because I always wear converse
What time did you wake up today?: 10:15am

FUTURE
Where do you want to go?: I'd like to go to New York. And also a day trip to santa barbara might be nice.
What is your career going to be?: Graphic designer, hopefully working for a movie studion doing movie posters or music design.
Where are you going to live?: London or anywhere in england! Or perhaps Seattle or northern california.
How many kids do you want?: I'd like 2 kids, a boy and a girl because I'm not sure I can handle more than that. But twins run in my family so I'd be happy with 3 kids in that case.
What kind of car?: I don't really think much about cars
My name is: Sarah
I may seem: extremely shy, quiet, nice or reserved.
But I really: am creative, artisitic, and really passionate about my little causes. I am pretty quiet. But I'm not always as nice as people think, I have a dark sense of humor that people are suprised by when they get to know me
Sometimes I feel: like I'm not adventurous enough and that i should travel more
In the morning I: sit around for at least an hour sipping fresh coffee and watching Makeover shows on TLC. Thank god for winter break.
I like to sleep: curled up in a little ball with the covers over my head
And one thing I wish I had is: an extra semester to study abroad
One thing I have that I wish I didn't is: chipmunk cheeks
All I need is: to marry Johnny Depp and live in the south of france. Is that so much to ask for?
Love is: a lot more complicated than it is in the movies, but will hopefully work out one day
If I could see one person right now it would be: Michael Ian Black, I'm watching "I love the 80s" right now. Man, he's adorable
Something I want but I don't really need is: The 5th and 6th season of Sex and the City
I am afraid of: closeness
It makes me angry when: people cancel plans at the last minute. That's the worst
I live for: the possibilities of the future

The'yre gathering around to hear a story, roasting chestnuts on a fire

I'm a little disappointed with the way my christmas gifts turned out. Well, I did order the Star Trek dvds that I wanted to get for my dad. I think he deserves something really nice and I wanted to go all out so I got him the entire first season set of the original star trek episodes. It's 8 disks and looks incredible. I can't wait to see his reaction when he opens it on saturday. My mom's gift didn't work out as well as I had hoped. My family went to disneyland the other day and they make the 3D crystals in the World of Disney store. So my brother and I had it all planned out that we would sneak off to "ride alice in wonderland and peter pan" while my parents ate dinner, but we really went to get the crystal. Turns out it was $90 and we only had $40 on us and it wouldve taken 4 hours, so we deserted the plan. Then matt and I drove to Northridge mall because he thought they did it there. After scouring the mall for a good 2 hours and not finding any store that did it, we gave up. I found a crystal with a 3d palm tree etched into it, so we decided to get that and do the portrait one for her birthday in February. But I'm sad that I couldn't get it together in time.

Yesterday was a barrel of laughs. First, I went to the dentist. I've been dreading this, but my tooth has been hurting for 6 months and so i figured it was about time to suck it up and go. I was worried they were gonna give me a lecture about having my tongue pierced, but I put in a clear barbel and they didn't say anything. The dentist came in, took one look at the Xray, and said "yep, you definitely need a root canal." Nooooooooooo. I mean, I knew it was coming because he mentioned 6 months ago i might need one if it kept hurting, but hearing those words was not fun. So on January 5th at 11 am you can find me at the dentists getting a root canal.

Last evening, my brother, his girlfriend, my dad, Adrianne, and I went to the Walt Disney Concert Hall to see a Latin Christmas concert that my dad got tickets to through the sound engineers group he belongs to. I've always passed the concert hall on my way to MOCA or Chinatown, but this was my first time seeing the inside. It was very big and the architecture was fabulous. Our seats were at the very top of the concert hall which was horrible for me because I am very scared of heights. I'm a lot like Jimmy Stewart in Vertigo. The seating was extremely angular and steep and I kept picturing myself tripping, falling over the rail, and plummeting down 100 feet or so. I wondered if I could turn my program into a paper airplane and sail it all the way to the stage. The concert was laughable. I expected traditional latin christmas music, but this featured two bands: a punk rock latin band and then a latin band featuring two old school rappers. They did a rap rendition of a song about Santa Clause that was so bad that I almost plugged my ears with my fingers. There was nothing christmas about the concert; they just played what they would normally play at a concert, except that they threw in Silent Night. But we did have fun and I enjoyed being in the concert hall once I adjusted to the height and the fact that I wasn't going to simultaneously trip, flip acrobatically over two rows of people and a safety rail and fall to my death with latin music playing in the background.

I'll report tomorrow on the fate of my hair. Either I'll be crying because I look like the ronald mcdonald clown, or I will be happy. We'll see.

What kind of pirate am I? You decide!
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Remembering

Disneyland was excellent as always, except it wasn't worth dealing with the awful crowd yesterday. I guess because it's winter break and kids are out of school and adults are off work (some of them who are lucky enough to have a holiday vacation), everyone in the universe thought it would be a good idea to go to disneyland yesterday. The worst is when it's super crowded and youre walking in this mass of people and some guy stops right in front of you for no apparent reason and you crash into him and everyone behind you crashes into you...it's a mess. I think I won't go back until after the holidays, unless friends want to go before then.

So I found out something interesting (at least to me) the other day that I never knew. Every time I asked my mom why I was named Sarah, she said that my dad picked out the name because he liked it and no other reason. I was talking to my dad and he said that I was actually named by my mom after her good friend Sarah in colorado who was a fellow SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) parent and had been a huge support to my mom after Andrea died. Why didn't she just tell me that in the first place? That conversation made me start thinking about Andrea a bunch. Yeah, it's hard to lose a sister, but I can't even imagine how hard it is to lose a child who you've cared for for a year and a half. That must have killed my parents, but they never really talk about it, so it was surprising when my dad gave me this newsletter and showed me a story that was written by the daughter of my mom's friend Sarah who is my age and whose brother also died of SIDS. Here's what she had to say, which is exactly how I feel too so I thought it might be interested to post.

"For me, I think the hardest thing about Luke's death, the thing that was the most important to me was just that I knew about my brother. People often thought we were weird because at a very young age I not only knew what death was but talked about it with my parents. Despite the fact that many people think death is too awful for kids to handle, for me it was never scary or morbid--it just was...I just always knew that Id had a brother and that now he was gone.

Even though I'd never met Luke I still felt a very strong connection to him and felt that he was no less a part of our family just because he was dead. I was always furious anytime my mom would introduce me as her only child, stubbornly insisting (often in front of people Id just met), 'I have a brother...he's just not alive anymore'. Over time I came to realize, as my mom had, that it was simply easier not to bring Luke up with people we were never going to see again...but I certainly still think of him anytime anyone ask me if I'm an only child. We also remember Luke as a family. Every year on August 8th, we have dinner together and go out to Dairy Queen to get ice cream and celebrate his birthday...And we go together to the cemetery on December 8th to put flowers by his grave and mourn his death. When I think of Luke, especially on those two hardest days, I wonder what it would have been like to have an older brother, someone to watch over me as i grew up, and beat up all the guys who treated me poorly.

One of the hardest things to me about losing my brother was that he was gone before I got a chance to know him, before we all got to see how he would turn out. Even as I write this, I wonder if I would have been close to him...if he would be quiet and reserved like our parents or loud and unruly like myself...would he have played sports, done well in school, etc.

Although I never knew him and he's been gone for 21 years, I still think about him all the time...and he is still my brother."


Andrea would be 21 years old on Jan 31st. Sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't dwell and try to completely forget, and as it is I don't think about it all that much (just when something triggers it), but I think it's important that someone remember. That I remember. Even if nothing can change and things are as they are and I'm ok with that. But now my name will be a reminder that at least there are people out there who provided my parents with support when I couldnt even begin to talk to them about it and still can't. I posted also to spread a little awareness that SIDS is out there, people have to deal with it all over the place, and I don't think a lot of people even know what it is.

Think of Christmas, think of snow, think of sleighbells...here we go!

Another day spent being lazy around the house and not even a little bored yet. I can't believe it, but I woke up at 12 noon today. I haven't slept in that late since that time I had the stomach flu in 8th grade and was up half the night puking. Oh, the memories. I managed to leave the house, though, for a little bit to meet up with Adrianne for some traditional golden spoon ice cream and then go to dinner with my family. It was nice to see her again and what's really nice is the fact that I've been able to keep in touch with so many people from high school, even a year and a half later. In high school, I felt trapped in this lousy suburb but now I don't look at it as being trapped anymore since it's just a place I visit every once in a while but it's a place to spend a few weeks relaxing and catching up with good friends. I'm happy because I managed to come to terms with the extra semester thing and find myself in no rush. Tomorrow evening my family and I are going to see some local theater performance and then on Sunday i am going to disneyland. I make good use of the season pass, maybe I should just live there. I could claim a spot in one of the doombuggies, bring a blanket and a little ice cooler full of sandwiches and live happily for some time. Or I could stow away in the apartment above pirates of the caribbean which was created as Walt Disney's personal apartment in the late 50's. Or perhaps even in the Peter Pan ride in the section where it shows the arial view of London, probably the only time I'll see london, a sea of twinkling lights and Big Ben, now that I'm not spending a semester there. Sigh.

I spent the day thinking about really personal presents I could get my family. I'm almost 20 and my family is always so wonderful, it's about time to put in some effort and get them gifts theyll like. I already have one for my brother which I wont say cuz he probably reads this, but I came up with really good ideas for my parents that I think they'll enjoy. For my dad, I'm ordering him a star trek dvd because, sad to say, he's a trekkie. But I know he'll enjoy it and watch it and it's so much better than the standard necktie or bathrobe scenario that I end up doing every year. I didn't know which one he liked better, the one with Captain Kirk or the Deep Space Nine episodes (i know just enough about star trek to get by. Sometimes I'd stick around when my dad watched them when i was little). I told my mom my dilemma and she managed to nonchalantly ask him which person would win in a fight, Kirk or Picard. He said kirk so I'm gonna order the classic episodes. She can get away with it because she only makes sense about 1/2 the time and the rest of the time it's just jibberish.

For her, I decided to get one of those decorative crystal thingys where they etch a 3D picture into the crystal. She always wanted one with all our faces in it (kinda creepy, I know). But that's what she wants and she doesn't expect anything so I think she'll be nice and surprised when she opens it. All people outside my immediate family who are in SCV now, I'm just about broke so I'm not doing the massive gift thing this year, but I like you all and if I could I'd buy you all excellent presents.

I'm gonna eventually stop titling these

I'm home! I finished my last final, renaissance art history, yesterday morning. After packing clothes and the fiber optic christmas tree from our apartment, I said goodbye to Megan and left a note for my potential roommate for next semester. It went something like this: "I am already predisposed not to like you because I've been stuck with a bad roommate situation in the past, so if you are a chronic potsmoker, heroin addict, britney spears or country music lover, or a person who falls asleep before 11 pm, get out now! If not any of these things, i guess you can stay, but keep to your side of the room please and don't take over the bathroom with your multitude of hair care supplies. Sincerely, your adoring roommate"

No, just kidding, I was actually very nice in the note, welcomed her to our apartment, left contact info, and told her to make herself at home. I don't actually know if a new roommate will be coming that soon, I am hoping to be able to bask in the glow of a single room all to myself for at least a few weeks, but whatever happens happens. I've got a full month to relax and have my mind as far away from school as possible. Since getting home last night, I went on a cleaning frenzy and cleaned out all old clothes from my dresser and closet to donate to the homeless shelter. It's always such a battle each year with the city council to get the approval to have the homeless shelter each winter, and this year it barely passed so it will again be out in those tents on Via Princessa by Costco. They're in great need of supplies like food because they didn't think that there was going to be any homeless shelter this year so they aren't prepared so if any of you have extra food to donate, they'd probably be really happy.

Then today my mom and I went to the mall with the goal of people watching. We bought two peppermint mochas and sat in a corner and watched holiday shoppers walk by. It's nice to have the time to do that. I always forget how many retarded teenagers there are here. Everytime I see them, it reminds me of the documentary brigitte did last year about kids that just hang around at the mall and that's their only activity. It makes me really happy that 3/4 of the year I'm at college. There were also plenty of soccer moms. Now that I've gotten the annual mall trip out of the way, I can hopefully avoid going there the rest of break.

Everything here at home is extremely relaxing. When i came in, the house was decorated nicely, my mom redid the bathroom without telling me, and the Christmas palm trees are set up in the living room with presents already layed out underneath. I spied at some of them and I definitely saw a cd shaped box with my name on. Wonder what it could be. The front lawn hasn't been raked in about 10 years apparently because you can't see grass...just a sea of fall colored leaves all across the lawn and sidewalk. After I made sure no one was looking, I made a leaf pile and jumped in it. I'm sure things will pick up when my friends start coming home, but right now I'm just enjoying the simple happiness of having my family around, reading, drinking coffee, and sleeping 12 hours a night.

I just added an awesome new class for next semester called Record Production Management. It is a 2 unit and I figured since my other class was dropped, hey why not take this one for fun? It's a lecture, only on Mondays. It talks about the function of the record producer, studio procedures, music business law, union relations, artist management, copyright and publishing agreements, record company structure. At least now I have room to take some 2 units just for the hell of it. Plus, I think this class will give me some background if I decide to work in music design. yippee!

I'm feeling a lot better about things.

I don't want to study! I want to go home!

Ways I have procrastinated over the last few days:

1) transferred music files with megan before she leaves to DC. Some good songs I didn't have before but the process took a really long time
2) wrote far more blog entries than I should have
3) dropped off christmas presents to people
4) napped when I wasnt tired just so I didn't have to study
5) went to get a cup of coffee from Trojan Grounds on campus instead of just making coffee here
6) watched really ridiculous flash animation on the internet. Mainly "I love Egg" and "Banana Phone"
7) went to the Natural History Museum to check out the geology section and their display of gemstones. Yeah, what?
8) checked everyone's away messages a billion times
9) cleaned the apartment
10) sat on a bench on campus for no reason and watched people walk by
11) watched a series of Disney movies including Sleeping Beauty, Peter Pan, and Alice in Wonderland

So now most people have already left for winter break, Ive run out of time and ways to put it off, and I have to spend the day studying Renaissance art and alter pieces for my final tomorrow.

In my world you wouldnt say "Meow". Youd say "yes Miss Alice"

I get 2-3 emails a day from my advertising advisor full of internships and job positions that they've found for students in the LA area. For a while they'd pile up in my inbox and I was thinking they were annoying junk mail with nothing for me because I'm not specializing in public relations, but I took a look at some of these the other day and I found a great intership to apply for. It is at LACMA (Los Angeles county museum of art) for 12 weeks. The interns will work closely with all members of the marketing staff to develop and execute marketing strategy.  Interns have the opportunity to be exposed to all areas of museum marketing, including print, outdoor and radio advertising, direct email campaigns, street marketing, event planning, research and the creative process.
Main Responsibilities:   
Assist with placing print, radio and TV ads
Research potential partners for LACMA (business partners, community partners, affiliate associations, schools, etc.)   
Organize master files related to advertising campaigns
Track billing for advertising
Assist with event planning   
Qualifications:       
Candidate must be enrolled in a college or university.
Enrollment in art and/or marketing classes is preferred.


So I finally got around to going to Amoeba yesterday. I've decided that all day monday I am going to study for art history, but this weekend I can have fun. I bought the elliott smith cd that I had been wanting, the one that was just recently released after he died. Then I bought the Strokes cd. I was supposed to get a copy of it from someone, but that never happened so I just ended up buying it. A disney treasures case caught my eye and I bought that too. It's the Mickey Mouse cartoons from 1928-1935 so it includes Steamboat Willie and all the really early ones. It has commentary from Leonard Maltin and some other disney experts. They also had The War Years which was when a lot of the animators were being called to serve in the army and Walt had to stop production on major film projects, he started producing US propaganda films using the Mickey Mouse + friends characters. But I didn't buy it. Maybe next time.

My roommates and I went to dinner for Brigitte's 20th birthday yesterday. SO weird to think we're 20 already. I've known brigitte since I was 7. It was a nice restaurant in the valley and they had the best tiramisu ever. My birthday is in 2 months and 1 day. It's sad because my roommate, Megan, is leaving to Washington DC for next semester. She's been a great roommmate this year and now I'm dreading the thought of getting a random roommate. It didn't work out so well last time and the possibilities for disaster are endless. She could fall asleep at 7 pm everynight, or play loud goth metal all day, or do drugs, or like Britney Spears, or have a boyfriend who is here all the time, or plaster her side of the room in the kind of pictures of babies and kittens you see in doctor office waiting rooms, or be really really messy. Or all of the above. I wish I could have a single and then i would stay in my room reclusively and not have to worry about trying to make friends with another roommate. So when I come back to school from winter break, there could possibly be a stranger in my room. Grrrr.

Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the peace corps

I think I'm feeling like a lot of people are feeling at this point. A little bewildered to be sure and it's that time of year where I start freaking out about everything in my life concerning my future, what I'm gonna be doing next summer, etc. I'm still incredibly sad I can't study abroad. I'm also extremely pissed at the fine arts department and the school in general for this recent development. Here's what happened:

Yesterday I was about to dash out the door to go to a study group when i get a call from my advisor. I thought it was strange because she never calls me and I was worried she was going to yell at me for registering for 20 units and to tell me I'm stupid for taking on such a full load, but what she was really calling to tell me was that only 4 people registered for the Friday design class and that it was cancelled. She asked if I could switch to the Tues/Thursday class and i said that I couldnt because I was already taking advertising at that time. So she basically apologized that it had to be that way and said "well, aren't you glad that you found out now and not in January?" Ummmm sure, I said on the phone but everyone is registered in classes, they are filled up and it would make no difference if this was sprung on me now or in january...the bottom line is that it's too late!

So I'm pretty much screwed. All my design and advertising classes are prerequisites so they all hinge on me taking them in sucession. Now that I can't take design next semester, the entire design lineup has to be pushed back a semester. They don't offer design 3 in summer school, only generic art classes like design fundamentals, drawing, and sculpture so I can't do that and even if I supplemented a GE for next semester it wouldnt matter because design is still being pushed back to overflow into an extra semester. My 3 year plan was airtight and immobile with no room for shifting. I had to plan on taking 20 units to even graduate on time.

The only logical solution: add an extra semester and do 4 1/2 years instead of graduating in 4. Fuuuuuuuck!

I've had a day to mull this over and I can't come up with any other solution so I've started to come accustomed to the idea of 4.5 years. I'm trying to look on the bright side and here are a few things I came up with that is a benefit of staying an extra semester.
1) now I don't have to take 20 units next semester and die. I was really cramming it in and now I have more wiggle room in case another class doesnt work out. I can relax a bit next semester.
2) I have room to take a few classes just for fun that i wanted to take but had ruled impossible by my schedule. There's a Beatles class that I can now take and a 2 unit record production class that interested me but I couldnt fit in before.
3)lots of people do this! Architecture requires 5 years and so does some of the business programs. Many people with large minors have to take an extra semester.
4) get more involved in sorority and maybe become rush counselor or a position within Panhellenic council.
5) I talked to my parents and they're actually the ones who convinced me to do it. They're being so supportive and they told me that college isnt about being done in 4 years, it's about finishing when you finish and getting a good degree.
6) I'm still saving money because I'm not going to grad school like most of my friends. My major doesnt require that degree to get a really good job.
7) more time for internships which will really help when i apply for a job. And more time that I can be in school and stay away from the real world.


So much chaos, i need time to think.

As of 2 pm this afternoon, I hadn't left my apartment for 2 whole days. I haven't worn real clothes for over a week, but have become this strange creature who only wears pajamas, sweats, and shirts that are 3 sizes too large. I obviously shower, that's really really gross otherwise, but I immediately put my hair up in a bulky clip because I don't need to look good for my textbooks. I have a pile of soda cans on my desk and my laundry had overflown my hamper and was starting to turn into the "clothes pile of death" before I took matters into my own hands and shuffled down to the laundry room. My eyes hurt from staring at my books all day and I have actually starting thinking partially in French. I have stopped eating real meals, but rather subside on cheetos, packaged sushi from Commons, Nerds candy, pixie sticks, red bull and sandwiches. All twelve years I was in the public school system, I would bring some sort of sandwich, fruit, drink combo for lunch. Doing this for so many years turned me off entirely to sandwiches and I haven't been able to even look at them for two years, but the other day I got a craving for a sandwich with veggie ham, lettuce, cheese, mayo, and mustard and white bread and it was so delicious that I've been eating them pretty much for every meal. Now all I need is 20 cats running around my apartment and I will have become really pathetic. This is not my normal lifestyle however, but once a semester I am forced into this mess for the two weeks of finals. I hate finals. Give me back my life!

I just got back from my first final, French, and I actually think it went pretty well. There were a few parts I struggled with and there were just some vocab words that I flat out didn't remember, but overall I survived and I think i'll walk away with an ok grade in the class. Definitely above a B. And I really have enjoyed french. It's such a nice feeling when things actually click and I feel like i understand something that I looked at at the beginning of term and wasn't able to comprehend a word. My french teacher was so sweet. When i turned in my final she said that she hoped I come to the conversation lab next semester because she would like to see me. Now, two more finals to go and I will be free! Politics and Culture of the 1960s is a little less clear but is easier to BS my way through tricky answers and Art History just takes memorization. Hopefully I'll find new places to study and my parents will come rescue me this weekend and take me to dinner in chinatown so I don't go stir crazy. To all of you stuck in the same boat as me, and I know there are a lot of you out there, I wish you all the best of luck on your finals and I'll see you when life returns to normal.

Also to look forward to this weekend, Amoeba records trip for sure on saturday!! If youre reading this and planning on going and have a car let me know! Otherwise, it's the bus. I have about 5 cds on my list to buy which will take up all my money, but I haven't gone music shopping in 6 months and my collection needs replenishing.

A night at the theater

I've had tickets for about two months to go see Les Miserables and tonight was finally the night. It was at the Pantages theater in Hollywood and was a culture activity that my sorority planned. I grew up listening to the music and have all the lyrics memorized in my mind forever from playing it so many times, so i was very excited to be finally seeing it. We got to the theater and it doesn't look like much from the outside, but the inside is absolutely gorgeous. Could definitely see the old Hollywood style in the decoration and the art deco influence. Our seats were as far back as you could possibly get; I was in the very last row, but I could still see the stage pretty well so i didn't mind. Wow, I don't even have words to describe it. The show was incredible. Everyone's voices were amazing and they hit every note...the guys even hit the really high ones which was impressive. The set designs were equally impressive as they had this rotating stage that the characters moved around on and they did a cool lighting trick when Javier commits suicide and falls into the river. Overall, seeing Les Mis reminded me how much I enjoyed musical theater as a kid and has inspired me to try to go to more plays this upcoming year. Chicago and Miss Saigon are both playing at the Pantages over the next year so I'm going to try to go. And since I'm so hopelessly emotional when it comes to stuff like this, as soon as Fantine died I started bawling and didn't stop crying until the end. The tissues came in handy.

I was watching tonight and I found that I have the most affinity with the character of Eponine. Yeah, pretty much everyone's life in that play sucks, but she has to live with unrequited love, which I feel is fairly shitty. He doesn't even notice her and he talks about his love for other girls to her. Then she dies unloved and the guy she loved goes off with Cosette who he's known for all of two seconds but somehow can't live without and pretty much forgets about her. Talk about not getting a break. My life is slightly less dramatic, haha, but I feel like I can associate with that a bit. She wasn’t the type to ever say anything so things didn’t work out for her in the end. And even if she had said something, it wouldn’t have made any difference.

horses horses horses horses

It doesn't feel like December. There are some months where you look outside and it just feels like that month. Like July in California. It is always 105 degrees or more and you drive down the road and can see the squiggly heat waves rise off the asphalt, kids are running around in a rotating sprinkler on their front lawns, people picnicing and taking their dogs on walks. The beaches are always filled with stupid stick-figure girls in bikinis. The unfortunate thing about living in California is that you don't get to experience the changing seasons. Sure, it gets a little chilly in the winter, but besides throwing on a sweatshirt instead of a tank top, I don't feel like anything is really different. It feels like I'm stuck in this continuous state of limbo. After college, I'd like to experience living somewhere you can see the leaves change brilliant colors and in the winter, it actually snows real flakes instead of the retarded hail that invades southern california once or twice a season. People come to California for the blue skies and unchanging, warm weather and they can't understand why I'd want to experience something else, but when you've lived here for 15 years or so, that kind of perfection can get boring.

Despite appearances, I do get into the Christmas season quite a bit. I'm not religious, but there's a lot about the season to enjoy. I brought a mini-Christmas tree and put it up in our apartment living room whether my roommates like it or not, and I'm gonna bring small presents to stick under the tree. Last year on Christmas day, my family and I went to Disneyland which turned out to be a bad idea because it was raining and miserable and I got soaked even though i was wearing a poncho. This holiday season, my mom wants to take Matt and me to a Russian Orthodox church so we can see a service and hopefully hear the choir. Russian choirs are absolutely beautiful. When my mom was younger, she used to play in a balalaika orchestra in her Russian church and I feel, compared to that kind of adolescent experience, like I'm lacking any sort of culture whatsoever. I think most of it is lost forever.

So my ipod finally broke. It's been on its way out for a long time, the battery life got shorter and shorter every time I used it. It was the last straw when i had charged it for two days, and I started playing it on the walk from my apartment to school, but before I even reached the staircase of my building, it had died. RIP Ipod. Luckily, it's still under the one year warrantee so I sent it into the company to get a new one. I've missed having it around while it's getting fixed. One of my favorite things to do when I get bored or upset is to take a walk around campus with my music. Very relaxing. So soon I'll be getting a brand spanking new one to play with.

A most peculiar mademoiselle

I just got out of my French oral final. Whew, what a load off. I don't think I did exceptionally well, but I think I did ok. I didn't majorly blank out, except for when I forgot how to say "We are going.." and other than that I managed to eek out ten minutes of a conversation entirely in French. My teacher is so nice, I wish i could have her for my remaining two semesters. I spent the last two days pounding french vocab and sentence structure into my brain. I was the last one to go in, which meant 50 minutes of waiting in the hallway. She asked about my family, what my parents do, how old my brother is and what he wants to do for a living, and what I'm going to be doing over christmas break. Luckily, I had prepared for all of the questions so I knew how to respond. I really do enjoy french. As much as I complain about it, I think it's a beautiful language that is wonderful when spoken well.

The final week of school! Now that my oral is over with, I am spending today concentrating on my big design critique. It's our last class and our postcard projects are due. It's definitely true when people say that the things you enjoy doing come out looking the best. My professor liked the progress on my postcards so all I have to worry about are a few minor adjustments. Since it's my teacher's last semester at USC (she's starting her own business and her dad is sick) we decided to get her an orchid plant in a nice pot and a new sketchbook that we are all going to sign. Hope she likes it. And I hope the kids in my class pay me back, that stuff was expensive. I got teased this weekend about going to USC, all in fun of course, but I hate when people joke around that I go to a school full of retards or that I'm not as smart because I'm doing design and art. So I'm not studying biomedical engineering, history, or political science. Those are all wonderful, but in the end it's not what I chose and I don't wanna be prodded because I'm not persuing those things. I feel happy for my major because it's something that I love and I'm happy I'm at USC. It's a great school for what I'm studying, it's providing me contact with great artists in the LA area, and I don't think a lot of people see that. All they see is the reputation.

This weekend is going to be excellent! Saturday is the UCLA vs USC football game which will be an all day event, then Sunday I'm going with my sorority to see Les Miserables. I grew up listening to the music and when we were little Matt and I might have acted it out a few times (we were strange children, musicals were very big in our house), but I've never actually seen it so this will be amazing. My mom recommended bringing a pack of tissues. I wish it was Sunday right now.

[���� to bed at 4 am last night because I decided to go see Hedwig and the Angry Inch play in Hollywood at midnight. I hadn't been in exactly a year, so i thought it would be fun to go again. Kind of a tradition. For those of you who don't know, Hedwig is a modern day Rocky Horror type movie and at the Hollywood show they have people playing along with the movie. Went with Lexi and her brother. They always show these horribly dated previews before the movie; last night's was for "Rock and Roll High" which looked ridiculous and then a preview for this movie called "The Apple" which looks like by far the worst movie in existence. After the show, we were driving home and stopped at a traffic light on Fairfax Blvd. We noticed that the car next to us is filled with what appears to be German tourists smiling at us. It made me rather uncomfortable because they were blatantly staring so Zack, Lexi's brother, rolled down his window and struck up a conversation with the tourists. He asked them if they were enjoying the sites of LA and the german guy said something about creating mischief, the whole while the woman in the front seat stared and smiled at us. I had a few ideas of what that could have meant, perhaps they were in a cult. The light was taking a long time to change so we just sat there uncomfortably, but when it finally did change I yelled "Go" and we hit the gas and ditched the Germans. Silly Germans.

Oh, I think I have a thing for techies. If you've been reading my blog for a long time, you might remember me talking about falling in love with the techie/roadie for the Ataris when they played at USC. Lip ring, bleached hair, black sweatshirt and jeans...oh yes. I could care less about the members of the band, it was all about the techie. Well, last night there was a techie at the Hedwig show who would go up and move sets around stage and various things and I found him so cute. He looked a little older, probably 25-28, but that's ok. I kept staring at him the entire time, maybe I'll look for him next time I go and actually introduce myself this time. Am I destined to marry a techie? I think it is inevitable.

Today's plans include a barbeque at Scott's house and then seeing Bridget Jones' Diary 2 with Jessica, Sachini, and Amy! It's lovely to see my friends again. I miss them all a lot during the year. I'm missing the USC vs. Notre Dame game and am recording it for future viewing, which is like a sin for a USC student. Beat the Irish!

Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, otherwise we'd get along

Today was Thanksgiving and I survived. I normally don't care for Thanksgiving. There's always way too much food around which makes me incredibly nervous and the day is filled watching the Thanksgiving parade on tv and then numerous bad movies that are playing. I got some homework done which is nice, but I havent made a very big dent in the amount I have to get done for monday. I almost finished my essay on protest poster art of the 1960's though so that's one less thing to worry about. But overall it was a fairly nice day. After dinner, my family and I played Loaded Questions, my favorite board game, and then they all went out while I stayed in to do homework and watch Benny and Joon.

The other day, my design teacher brought all her sketchbooks in to class. She has kept one a year since graduating from pasadena art center, the school I probably should have gone to, so she brought them in a big cardboard box. It was fascinating to see. She encouraged us all to keep a sketchbook, even though we are design majors because it is supposed to help with the creative process. I feel like my drawings are like a five year old's compared to the stuff she showed us, but it might be nice to keep it just for me and whatever pops into my mind. She was telling us how she used to go sit in the local laundromat and sketch the people who would come in to do laundry and draw them as whatever time period she thought they looked like. I had a blank 11 x 14 inch one sitting in my room so I think Im gonna pick it up tonight and start drawing it in. Back in high school, my art teacher used to want us to turn in our sketchbook for a grade at certain times throughout the semester, and I'd never do it until an hour before class. I'd end up scribbling down anything I could think of. Started looking into internships for this upcoming summer and found some interesting ones. There are internships at Warner Brothers in the graphic design department which look amazing and I'm definitely going to apply for. Then there's one at 20th Century Fox as a designer for Fox Sports News and another one at Rhino Records. I'm going to keep looking, but i think the internship route is the way to go for this summer.

One of the movies that just happened to be on tv today was Runaway Bride with Richard Gear and Julia Roberts. In the movie, Julia Roberts character keeps running away from weddings and part of it is that she doesn't have a sense of self but becomes whatever the guy likes. For example, she kept changing her favorite type of eggs to whatever type of eggs her fiance liked: poached, scrambled, eggs benedict, etc. It made me think if I ever do that sort of thing and I think I might do that to an extent with music. I mean, I don't listen to things that I normally would never listen to, but I go through phases of music that I start listening to when I like different people. I won't say which musical phase I'm in now because it would probably give it away, but it reminds me of the High Fidelity quote, "Which came first, the music or the misery?"

Anyway, hope everyone reading this is having an excellent holiday. I'm definitely looking forward to the next few days because I've only seen a couple of people so far. Was a bit of a hermit today, but that'll change tomorrow.

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams

I'm thinking that Thanksgiving Break is kind of a cruel joke. The teachers like to tease by saying "Have a great break. Get some good rest." But they don't mean it. There is no way you can have a good rest because you are given piles of homework to get done for monday. On my list of things due Monday is my politics final project on the political protest posters of the 1960s complete with an artsy homemade book displaying the posters and a 2-3 page paper about why they were important in the scope of the 60s, one design project featuring a series of 13 postcards I wrote about in my last entry and one design visual metaphor poster project, and an intimidating-as-hell-wet-my-pants french oral exam. All due Monday. So as i sit with my fancy Thanksgiving feast I will have the thought of all that work circling in my brain. And I'll probably have to cut out some quality friend time with people coming home from across the country to do homework. It's not a new thing, ever since elementary school Thanksgiving has been snatched away by evil teachers. I suppose that we got the assignments way in advance, but really, with a constant stream of midterms and papers, who has time to work ahead on upcoming projects?

Things I'm looking forward to this weekend:
1) going to see Bridget Jones' Diary with Amy and Jessica! And hopefully my mom will make a batch of her famous popcorn. It's a tradition.
2) mashed potatoes...we always have homemade mashed potatoes (without onions!) for thanksgiving dinner and they're my favorite part of the night
3) after dinner board game on Thanksgiving night. Yeah, super corny, I know. But I really do consider my family to also be my friends and it's a tradition to play a board game like Loaded Questions that night. You may call us The Cleavers. I guess that would make me Wally. Matt is Beaver.
4) USC vs. Notre Dame football game. I've turned into a football obsessed woman. My daily schedule on saturdays rotates around who is playing that day. I'll be watching from the comfort of my living room, but it's guaranteed to be an exciting game.
5) Hedwig friday night...possibly? I'm not sure if this one is gonna work out, but I haven't been in about a year and I'd like to go again.
6) Amoeba Records run hopefully. I haven't been since summertime and I am desperately needing some new cds. I never bought the Strokes cds and I have been wanting to buy the Eternal Sunshine sountrack for months. I feel the urge to spend hours browsing. I don't have a group for this yet, so if youre interesting in going at some point this weekend, please let me know.

Things I'm not looking forward to:
1) mainly just mounds of homework crushing every fiber of my soul
2) stepping on my scale Friday morning only to discover that I have gained 20 pounds and need a crane to get out of my house.
3) returning to school with nothing between me and finals. Gulp.
4) Seeing my friends and realizing how much I miss them the other 200 days of the year that they're away.

But if I know you, I know what you'll do

I thought I'd take a few day hiatus from updating seeing as I was getting a little crazy with it. I think I even posted twice in one day. Geez. Noticing that my cold was getting worse and my asthma got stirred up, I decided to spend this weekend at home. Mainly just resting and stuff. Yesterday I went to see the Incredibles. Whenever I see anything by Pixar, it makes me want to work there again and kinda sad that i don't do more digital animation. I had a lot of fun with 3d animation, even though it can be incredibly frustrating to create. Too bad the job market is so unstable for it. But I give them a lot of credit. They have to have the patience to work for years on one project and spend days on painstakingly small details of the film. Saturday night we had a thanksgiving dinner with my church. It was pretty yummy and there was a lot of food there. The thing I always hate about the holidays though is how it brings back all the food issues I have that kinda get buried during the year. I can't stand watching people eat that much food. All I can think of is clogged arteries and heart attacks that excessive weight can bring and it scares me...not for my sake (im a good weight), but for my family. My grandfather died of a heart attack. I think a lot of my weight issues disappeared when i came to college. I was surrounded by young fit people and I didnt have to worry about it. I've noticed that the problem starts coming back when I'm around my family and I have a harder time controling it. Booo holidays.

Today I spent the day at the doctor's office. Two hours in the waiting room! Luckily, I finally got in and he gave me some prescribed cough medicine and a new inhaler. I should be better in a week or so. My mom and I rented Shrek 2 and watched it this afternoon. Right now, I'm working on my design project which is to create a series of postcards advertising whatever we want. People in the class are doing some pretty cool topics. The muppets, a new hybrid car, the movie Seven, Pharcyde, the marx brothers, the process of jewlelry making. I decided to pretend that the American Ballet Theater is putting on a production of the Nutcracker. I have a series of 13 postcards on which there's a representation of each dance in the nutcracker. I'm having a lot of fun with it, doesn't even feel like homework. I think that's a good sign that I chose the right major for me. I can sit down and work for hours on it, but never feel like I'm being forced to. So now I'm listening to the Nutcracker soundtrack performed by the London Symphony Orchestra because the postcards got me in the mood for it. I really miss ballet around this time of the year, especially pointe. I must have danced that ballet 100 times, well probably more like ten times, but i still really miss it. When I was a little girl, I always wanted to be Clara, but as I got older i realized she didn't actually do much dancing, so then i thought the ideal role would be the Sugarplum fairy. She has a gorgeous dance at the very end of the ballet that segways into a pas de deux with the prince. I was hoping that this year, my mom and I could go up to see the San Francisco Ballet perform the nutcracker over winter break. I think they're probably the 2nd or 3rd best ballet company in the country next to the American Ballet Theater in New York and it would make my year to see their production of it.

Instead of screams I swear I can hear music in the air

For the past few weeks, the unitarian group that I am a part of here on the USC campus has been planning to participate in this big Interfaith Celebration where people from a bunch of religious groups on campus would come together and share a 5 minute presentation of their faiths. I hadn't really expected much, but I was pleasantly surprised. The turnout was very large...way more than I had expected. Over the course of the night, representatives from the Catholic, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Quaker, Atheist, Pagan, Baha'i, Hindu, Protestant, Latter Day Saints, Jains, Episcopalian, Christian Scientists, Wiccan, Sikh, and unitarian universalists. It turned out to be a very cool night. People presented their faiths in songs, poems, chants, meditation, skits, dances, all sorts of ways. It was informing and interesting, especially to see that there are still people in this world willing to open up their minds to people of other faiths, hear what they have to say, and possibly leave with a new dimension to add to their own faith. I know I learned a lot from the other groups. Our group consists of 3 people sadly enough, but we read a children's story and then lit a candle. "We gather this hour as a people of faith with joys and sorrows, gifts and needs. We light this beacon of hope, sign of truth and meaning, in celebration of the life we share together." Afterwards, they had really yummy kiesh. I'm glad things turned out as well as they did and I'm hoping that I can become even more active on campus next semester, at least with interfaith council or something. I think at this time in the US it's important to be a reminder that morality can appear in many forms and religions, not just the one. I'm kind of wondering, in a relationship, how important is religion? I'm guessing it can become a pretty big deal when you have a married couple, both different faiths, trying to decide what to raise the kids as. Being in the religious minority, i wonder if it will be that much harder to find a guy I could see myself marrying, but I'm guessing that if you don't place a lot of importance on it, you can overlook the issue entirely. Or at least I hope so for the sake of my love life. haha. Seeing as the UU population is about .5%

In other news, i'm still sick! I got some cough medicine but it hasn't seemed to do much so I think I'm doomed to a weekend full of laying around coughing. My lungs have that awful burny feeling. I think im starting to get a sore throat too, boo! It's 830 and I could fall asleep right now and sleep through the night. But it could be worse.

I am dying my hair this weekend. I need a change and this is as good a time as any. I've gone through the radical stage with purple and blue and jet black, but I think Im going to be more subtle this time and do auburn. It'll be nice and hopefully I wont come out looking like a clown. Once when trying to get red hair, it came out pink/orange and I ended up walking around with a floppy hat for a week before being able to dye it back.

Only 6 days until Thanksgiving break. I can't wait to see you all!

Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner

I cannot be getting another cold. I pride myself on having a good immune system and I tend to only get sick once a semester, that's all I'll tolerate. But i've already had my one cold this semester and I fear I'm getting sick again. It started right before today's sorority initiations (for the newest girls) with a cough and the cough won't seem to go away. It's that annoying one that tightens up your chest and you cough incessantly. I really hate when people whine about getting colds as if no one besides them has had one before and it's the end of the world. I'm sure with an abundance of vitamin C and some nyquil, I can stop this cough before it turns into a full blown cold and gets in the way of a good Thanksgiving weekend. Sara told me a funny story today about her trip to the ER recently for mono and how the nurse gave her an IV, but there wasn't any fluid injection going in, so she was basically just sitting there with a needle in her arm. Not so funny at the time I'm sure, but very much so in retrospect.

I'm so glad I subscribed to this magazing called Print. Not only is it one of the best graphic design magazines that I've found (yes, there are several out there as random as that seems), but they sent me their annual design review. it's got about 100 pages crammed full of some of the best graphic design out this year broken down by region of the US. What's great about that is it includes the names of the design firms that created each piece and where theyre located, so I have a bunch of firms to look into. I found a few great ones up in Seattle. One in particular is called Sub Pop Records and created the album designs for both of The Shins cds. I would love to work in Seattle. Or really, maybe I just wanna go anywhere else. Get a sense of another place in this world. 15 years in LA is enough for the time being. I need to become worldly and now that my england semester is out of the picture, I find myself looking at places I would normally consider for when I graduate and am gonna start looking for a job. There's a difference between the magazines that show design just for the sake of being artsy and the ones that show graphic design in the real world, through advertising and promotions or for some sort of viable purpose. Oh man, I think sometimes I am the only person remotely interested in this stuff. But its my major and I'm a firm believer that you must ADORE what you do or youll be burned out within 5 years of graduation.

I guess that's about it for now, I thought there was more I wanted to write, but I'm not one of those people whose minds function well late at night...in fact my mind is slowly starting to shut down. A sure sign i need a good night's sleep. So until tomorrow, goodnight.

And where I now lead a strange half-life with a lodger called Spike

"Notting Hill, my favorite bit of London. There's the market on weekdays selling every fruit and vegetable known to man. The tattoo parlour with a guy outside who got drunk and now can't remember why he chose 'I Love Ken'. The radical hairdressers where everyone comes out looking like Cookie Monster, whether they'd like to or not. The suddenly it's the weekend and from break of day hundreds of stalls appear out of nowhere, filling Portobello Road right up to Notting Hill Gate. And thousands of people buy millions of antiques, some genuine and some...not so genuine. And what's great is that lots of friends have ended up in this part of London. So this is where I spend my days and years--in this small village in the middle of a city, in a house with a blue door."

Sigh, to think I'm not going to be able to spend a semester here. Mourning the loss of my London semester. But its ok, Im already thinking of moving there after college to get a graphic design job. Or if all else fails and I'm stuck in the US for a long time, then I can move to England when I'm an old lady and open a bed and breakfast in a quaint English town. Hey, maybe I'll still be able to meet an english boy too and live happily ever after. Crossing my fingers I will be in england one day, later if not sooner.

I had dinner with my dad tonight because he just got back from New Orleans. I happen to be strangely in love with New Orleans for the architecture, art, and music. So while my dad was there he found this amazing book called The FBI Files by Arnold Mesches. He was actually a fine arts teacher at USC in the 1950's, but what happened was he had an FBI file during the McCarthy era and when it was released, he turned it into this massive art project, adorning each page of the file with different art, painting, collage. My dad brought me back the book and I think it is by far the coolest thing I've seen in a while. Let me know if you wanna check it out.

She warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within

I've been having the feeling of displacement the last few days and I'm not sure why. I think perhaps it's just time for a break from here and some time to spend with family and friends at home. I can't wait to see my high school friends over winter break. I dunno, lately I feel that I have been heading in a direction I don't want to go in. This is not who I want to be in the long run. We had homecoming yesterday and it was so-so. The game turned out to suck a bit because by the time we got there, there weren't any seats left with our group or anywhere for that matter so we were standing by the aisle but the security guard was yelling at us to move so we couldnt even pay attention to the game. Also, was taking care of several drunk people at the same time and it was a little bit more than I wanted to handle. A few girls and I ended up leaving, going back to the house and ordering pizza. It turned out that it was much more fun to watch the game from the warmth and coziness of the den. Afterwards, we wanted to go out b/c we figured there would be things going on, but it was a pretty dead night. Ended up hanging out at the delt house for a bit and then going home. Fred was at the Delt house though! He is a funny french asian alumni who graduated last year, majored in business, and is now making six figured working in NYC. Crazy. I saw alumni Andrew and John at the game too way up in the stands, but was too laden with drunk people to go say hi. I think I need to branch out more. It's nice to have good friends there, but I need to know people from other houses, or just stop going out so much in general. Perhaps time for me to meet a guy who I know wants to hang out with me outside all that. Heather made a good point last night when she said with this system, you never know if your friends there really want to be around you, because you as the girl came to them and they may just be being nice. I tend to think everyone is just being nice. Only one way to tell I guess. In fact, I'm pretty burned out on going out at all. Maybe that'll be the end of it for the semester.

Went to see Alfie on Friday night with some ADPi girls. It was the first movie I've been out to see in about a month and a half. I got movie theater popcorn. It's a shame too because I didn't think it was a very good movie, and there are so many I'm waiting to see including I heart Huckabees, Bridget Jones' Diary, and the Polar Express.

My second sorority invite kinda crept up on me. It's this friday already! I'm wrestling with whether to go or not. The thing is, I don't have a date but there's no one I really know who I'd necessarily wanna bring. Well, there is of course, but that can never happen. My first invite was a lot of fun. It was a semi formal, we all went to dinner and danced and I had a great time. Well, i dunno if andy did, but I had a lot of fun. This invite I'm less jazzed about for some reason. I wouldn't want to be set up, b/c the possibility for a disastrous and painful evening is about 50/50 and I don't wanna risk it. I want to bring someone who likes to dance and who likes to have fun because it's a themed invite so he'd have to dress up. But really, I'm thinking it might all be too much of a hassle. I hate asking people, perhaps thats one of the reason I never went to the dances in high school. So maybe I will go down to pitzer that night to see Tasha's show or maybe I will sit home with a book and die fat and alone and be found dead 3 weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs. Anyway, we'll see how the week goes, but I'm not really expecting anything to come of it. Hopefully I'll be in a better mood though.

But they say if you dream a thing more than once it's sure to come true

I know that the election has come and gone, but I have a section of a speech I'd like to post because it deals with how I feel about the post war climate and how difficult it is to communicate with those of oppossing views in this election compared to others. This is taken from a speech by my minister Rev Ricky Hoyt who I find extremely eloquent, but it's not religious at all in context so I think a majority of people can relate.

"If it were just policies where we disagreed we could talk it out, but I don't know how to have a respectful dialogue with people who don't share my values. I don't understand these people, more than half of Americans. I don't share their vision, or want what they want. We have to talk to each other, but I don't know how, and that scares me more than anything else about this post-election situation. American voters seem to feel it's more important to prevent two men or women from getting married, than it is to fairly distribute the nation's wealth, ensure universal access to health care, and protect our environment. American voters seem to feel it's more important to defend the sanctity of the potential life of unborn fetuses than it is to protect the sanctity of the lives of young men and women by not involving them in an unjust and unnecessary war. National community depends on our finding shared values deeply hidden beneath those choices. I can't today, tell you what those shared values could be. The work to uncover them will be long and hard. I can only hope we're successful.

Alan Keyes, who lost to Barack Obama in the Illinois senate race, illustrated this difficulty of dialogue without shared values from the conservative side of the divide. He refused to congratulate Obama for his victory insisting that to do so would be a "false gesture." He asked rhetorically, "I'm supposed to make a call that represents the congratulations toward the triumph of that which I believe ultimately stands for and will stand for a culture evil enough to destroy the very soul and heart of my country?"

And there are many on both sides uninterested in dialogue even if we could find a common language in which to speak. Christian talk radio host, Frank Pastore said, "In the weeks and months to come we will hear the voices of well-meaning people beseeching the victor to compromise with the vanquished. This would be a mistake. Conservatives must not compromise with the left. Good people holding false ideas are won over only if we defeat what is false with the truth."

Bush, to his credit, in the press conference he gave the day after the election was decided, extended a hand to unifying the country by acknowledging, "Democrats want a free and peaceful world." But his slight nod toward shared values failed to comfort me. I don't doubt that Democrats want a free and peaceful world. In my heart I'm still confidant that most Republicans want a free and peaceful world. What I doubt is that George Bush wants a free and peaceful world. It isn't in the service of peace that a President leads the nation into war against a country that had never attacked us, never threatened us, and posed no imminent danger to us. It isn't in the service of freedom that our Attorney General indefinitely imprisons hundreds of persons without trial or even charges brought against them, nor through the so-called Patriot Act circumscribes the liberties of millions of Americans.

In re-electing George Bush, Americans have made a Faustian bargain. They elected him because he stands with them against gay marriage, for the protection of the unborn, for a stronger role for their churches, and a reserved place for God language in public life. But if they truly support peace and freedom they have compromised those great values in favor of the lesser values of tradition, absolutism, piety, and security. Bush has proudly labeled himself a war president, not a peace president. And the freedom he offers, to both Iraqis and Americans, comes with barbed wire on the walls and bars on the windows.

I can't preach a message of hope, today. It's too soon for hope. I know when hope comes it will come through action, which is always the antidote to despair. Much action will be called for between now and November 2008. I know when hope comes it will be through the resurgence of faith in the good of human persons and our freedom to shape our lives and the world in line our good choices. Much need for good people to make good choices will arise between now and November 2008.

But today it's too soon for hope. Our nation and our world suffered a severe reverse on Tuesday. We need to feel that loss and spend sufficient time in mourning. There's no need for hope today. Today we need only heartfelt sadness, deep hurt, and bitter anger. Sadness, hurt and anger are required today. I won't try to talk you out of it or rush you through it. What we need today is not reasons to feel better, though comfort will come in time, but like-minded companions to share our pain.

May we be such for each other and for our world."

After hours of drawing graphs and looking at all the classes I need to take to graduate, Ive found a way to squeeze in everything. Unfortunately, that means 20 units next semester. So if you want to spend time with me, do it now, because once mid-January rolls around and school starts up again, the only time you'll see me is as a blur spinning down the halls of Troy East much like Taz from looney toons. I dont know how this happened or where along the line my credits got screwed up, but I can't do my semester abroad and have to do 20 units next semester so that I wont have to add an extra semster to the end. Dang. It's not all bad though, I'll be taking mostly classes I'm interested in and that sound like a lot of fun. Here's what my final schedule works out to be:

1) Visual Culture and Literacy: Exploration of visual thinking and communication in art and popular culture: interpretation of the personal and social context, function and lineage of the image.

2) Design III: Graphic Design for Fine Arts: In this course, specific instruction will cover topics such as image-text integration, single and double page layouts, typography, sequential flow, continuity and emphasis in a moving field, etc. Topics such as color theory and composition will be examined at a higher level. Assignments will imitate areas where graphics and fine arts overlap, such as public service announcements and advocacy graphics. Assignments will focus on hard copy and web designs.

3) Photography A: The purpose of this course is to provide technical and conceptual background upon which to build a viable and engaging photographic practice within an art context. This course will introduce you to a basic set of procedures and theoretical considerations which are central to an art practice utlizing photography. Through each area, the student develops an individual/independant relationship between themselves as artists and the medium of photography in a fine arts context.

4) Intro to Advertising: History and development of advertising; basic advertising campaigns showing relationships of marketing, creative, print and electronic media.

5) French II: Obviously the next level of french

I'll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue

So I'm in quite the predicament with my college credits. There are three things that I am very picky about in my life: food, boys, and my 3 year class schedule plan. I had my academic advisement this morning and no matter how totally prepared I am when I go in to meet her, by the time I leave my plans are in shambles and I'm left with very little time to sort them out before registration. This semester's advisement was no different. I went through the trouble of preparing a 3 year plan for all my course from sophomore year through senior year, factoring in my advertising minor and a semester in England and it seemed to work out fine on paper. Perhaps it worked simply because I wanted it to work out, but when i got to advisement she told me that I was forgetting a shitload of lower and upper division art classes that dont count to my emphasis (intermedia studios, photography classes, etc). HOW COULD I HAVE OVERLOOKED THESE?! So I am now faced with the fact that there is no way I can get my cake and eat it too. In fact, I will be slaving away for the next 3 years just to graduate on time in busywork classes like moldmaking and metal. And college is supposed to be the best time of your life, eh? Here are my options:

1) get rid of the study abroad semester in england and work my ass off with 18 units every semester for the next 3 years to graduate in Spring 2007. I think this will be the best choice seeing as england was just a desire of mine and not beneficial to my schooling at all. Sigh, I'm really going to miss it though. It's the thing Ive been dreaming about since 9th grade and when things go bad I think "Oh its ok, because soon I'll be in sitting in hyde park with a cup of tea and a good book." I had all these plans to go there and meet my cute british boy soulmate at some cafe where he'd be playing acoustic guitar and get married and have cute british children. Sigh

2) Take as many advertising courses as I can squeeze in but not worry about completing the minor. I dont feel good about this option. I want that advertising minor to my name and if it means sacrificing my semester abroad to do it, so be it. With such a flimsy major such as fine arts you need something strong like advertising to back it up.

3) Do an extra semester at USC before graduation and be a 5th year senior. I, again, dont like this option but it may be my only choice. I havent figured it out yet, but even working 18 units for the rest of the time might not be enough and I'll be forced to be a really really old graduate. Shit.

It doesn't help that my advisor is perhaps the scariest woman on the face of the planet. So as I sit here with my STARS report and my 3 year plan (which is now worthless) trying to figure out how I am going to possibly squeeze everything in, I am jealous of people who have switched their major around 3 times and still are able to graduate on time no problem. Damn you all.

Get out of my way, mooooootherfucker

I had been anticipating last night for about 3 weeks. Largo sells out of reservation spots really early, so I had to call in weeks in advance. But last night finally came and after some minor setbacks Nancy, her friend James, and I went to see Jon Brion. Let me just say, I am a little smitten with Jon Brion, despite the fact that he's in his late 30's, drinks guiness like it's water, and is a total oddball. I think most girls would agree that musical talent automatically makes someone attractive. I can't explain it, that's just how it is. I was a little nervous about the disclaimer saying you had to be 21 to get in. I have seen the show once before, but it seems that every once in a while they get anal and give you a hard time. We didn't have any problems this time however and they didnt even ask my age so either I looked old or they just didn't care because we were all paying for full dinners. I'm guessing the latter. They had this interesting lady as an opening act. I can't remember her name, but she was wearing what looked like an old potato sack as a dress and you could just tell she was a crazy liberal feminist. Then Jon Brion came on and started the show off with a political song that he seemed to make up on the spot. The next song was a mocking rendition of Dixie land. He went on throughout the night to play "Meaningless" and "Walking Through Walls" from his solo album and a few of the amazing new I Heart Huckabees songs. The second set he left for audience requests and he did "Dont Stop Believing" but with the funny instrument that distorts your voice. He also did "This Will Be Our Year" by the Zombies and finished the show with a 20 minute version of "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times." For a few songs he got lost in his guitar for minutes on end and totally rocked out. He gets in this zone where it's like he doesnt even know the audience is there and its just him and the music. I, of course, sat with my jaw dropped to the floor in amazement as he did an incredible drum solo, then looped it with piano, bass, and guitar in front of our eyes. Every time I see him, I am in awe of his talent and always leave inspired to put that kind of passion into something. Not music for the obvious reason that I don't play any musical instruments, but into something...perhaps art. It seems that people are drawn to that kind of passion. Lately I've been forgetting that or trying to override that with a need to be more normal, but sometimes embracing the quirky is worth it if you're throwing your passion and creativity into something. I start to feel like I'm not really living or pursuing every possibility and I need to see someone living out their passion to remind me of it. This guy at the bar got really REALLY drunk and started singing along loudly to all Jon Brion's songs and we all got annoyed, but I think someone told him to shut up.

Jon Brion was hanging out by the door after the show and even though he was talking to this older couple and I didnt want to be rude and break up their conversation, I felt like saying something so I just said "great show" as we left and he said a very nice "Thank you." See, best friends already. So I left in a state of musical serenity with all the annoyance of the events of the day completely wiped away...and actually a major question that's been occupying my mind for a while was answered.

An apple for serenity, a pendant for balance...

So brigitte and I both decided to fast yesterday. They were advertising this event on campus called the Fast-a-thon which is put on by the Muslim Student Organization and coincides with Ramadan. They had corporate sponsers pledge to donate money to aid this humanitarian organization for however many non-muslim students fasted, so we did. It was pretty easy seeing as it was just for a day, but towards the end i was getting pretty hungry. Brigitte was scaring me towards the end when she said "I'm so hungry I could eat you!" and then stared at me as if she just might. We went to the mosque on Exposition and Vermont to view some of the prayers and then break the fast and listen to some people talk about spirituality. Overall, it was a lot of fun. It's always interesting to see how other religions practice...even if it's just a small glimpse into their practices.

Afterwards, I headed over to Ground Zero coffee shop where I was supposed to be meeting some sorority people for a live out event but it turned out to be only me and megan, and it wasnt jazz like we had expected. Instead it was some moshing metal band and even though usually I get into punk music, I just wasnt feeling them. I came home and continued to feed my Sex and the City obsession. Tonight is Jon Brion! Unfortunately, they only gave me reservations for 3 and not 7, but that's ok. I'll be trying to take the other people who can't go this time some time soon. I'm so excited though, I haven't gone to see his show since mid-summer and I'm sure this will be a good one.

When the moon is in the seventh house...

My birthday is on February 13 and I will be turning 20. Strange to think about. When I was a little kid I never pictured myself at age 20 or beyond that. I don't know what I thought would happen at this point. Maybe Id magically disappear into a cloud of smoke or perhaps I would just stay 10 years old forever. But here it is...just two months away. Anyway, I got this invitation from the facebook to join the "Aquarians rule" group. I don't put much faith in astrology just like I don't put much faith into much of anything besides tangible reason and tested science, but it's interesting to see just how much I fit in with the typical definition always given to an Aquarius' personality. Not to say that it by any means predicts my future, but by coincidence many of my traits are also described in the Aquarius mold. For example, here is the big description of Aquarians from the face book thing.

"Aquarius is the eleventh Sign of the Zodiac, and Aquarians are the perfect representatives for the Age of Aquarius. Those born under this Sign have the social conscience needed to carry us into the new millennium. They are extremely tuned in to creative energy. These folks are humanitarian, philanthropic and keenly interested in making the world a better place. Along those lines, they'd like to make the world work better, which is why they focus much of their energy on our social institutions and how they work (or don't work). Aquarians are visionaries, progressive souls who love to spend time alone thinking about how things can be better. They are also quick to engage others in this process, which is why they have so many friends and acquaintances. Making the world a better place is a collaborative effort for Aquarians."

Traditional Aquarian Traits:
Friendly and humanitarian
Honest and loyal
Original and inventive
Independent and intellectual

On the dark side....
Intractable and contrary
Perverse and unpredictable
Unemotional and detached

Interesting, huh? These are good and bad. I think about all this now because lately some things havent worked out like I wanted in terms of relationships while a bunch of people I know are falling into really good relationships and it just seemed like time to reassess why. I enjoy the fact that social issues mean as much to me as they do...i guess I'm just one of those idealistic people, but I still cling to the idea that things can change. Vegetarianism is extremely important to me (not for everyone, but just a goal for myself) as is human rights around the world and the environment, the typical liberal eh? The downside is that my interest in these things is not something that is of interest to about 80% of the guys I meet here. Business and finance bore me to death and I can't connect on the same level with those people. I often hear that Aquarians are more artistic and funky than most people, which definitely suits my personality, but I'm not so sure I'm happy about this. Yes, being artisitic is wonderful. I'm an art major and like the idea that one day I might be able to put out some cool artwork into the world. But on the downside, this type of thing often alienates me from the population of USC. I am a little offbeat and don't act like most of the girls around here whose topics focus on shopping, fashion, and flirting. I lose out a lot of times because I don't get into the whole flirting thing which other girls too. Apparently it works. I expected this sort of thing in high school, but Im starting to wonder if the roles ever change or expand because at this point in life I know I'm never gonna fit in with that.

In addition, another Aquarius trait I seem to possess is the tendency to be unemotional, independent, and detached. Anyone who knows me...this is very true. I can have all the passion for art and humanitarianism possible, but when it comes to personal relationships there's a box and I'm starting to wonder if that's ever going to change. I get bored very easily in relationships. I'm extremely low maintenance, but I might be too low maintenance in that I like extremely independant relationships. I get smothered if someone calls too much, those couples that spend every waking second with each other kind of piss me off. I guess that can actually be seen as a plus, but i feel like it's restrictive to closeness. Sigh, so there you have it. The typical Aquarian. So what does this mean? Am I cosmically restricted to these traits for all eternity or is there the possibility to assess and make better? Now that I notice these, I think I can actively work to minimize all the bad stuff and pump up the good.

we're fucked

I was originally planning to write this entry about the 1960's which I am taking a class about and is particularly fascinating to me right now, but I find myself incapable to think about anything besides the election results. I'm in a state of complete shock...still not able to register that this is actually happening. All I feel is despair and a whole lot of anger. For other elections in the past, the results have not been what I wanted but Ive never felt the sort of urgency for change than during this presidential election and now that Bush has been elected for yet another 4 years in office, I want nothing more than to move out of the country and get as far away as possible. But really, how did this happen? Is America that obsessed with "morality" (which is basically a code for super conservative religious values like abortion and gay rights because let's face it, you can't call Kerry a person without morals unless youre pigeon-holing the definition of morals to extreme Christianity) that it can't see what's going on in the world? Just throw the "G" word at them ( god, gospel, gays, and guns ) and they forget everything that bush has done wrong the last 4 years and freak out. Now keep in mind when I say that, I'm not putting down religion in general. The thing I have a problem with is when a person or group of people have a set of beliefs that they push onto others and say "well, I believe this and therefore everyone else should follow". It's at that point when it stops being just religion but turns into intolerance and bigotry. Who cares that we invaded a country, thumbing our nose at the cooperative efforts of the United Nations as we went, with no evidence in the name of "stopping terrorism" and killed thousands of Iraqi men, women and children. Who cares if a woman's rights over her own body get stomped on and the clock gets turned back 30 years to a time when droves of women were dying from botched abortions in unsafe conditions? It happened back then and it'll happen again. Who cares if the economy sinks to its demise and we lose over thousands upon thousands of jobs...they'll still vote Bush? Who fucking cares if all the nations of this world were watching carefully to see who the American people were going to support and now that we've freely embraced Bush again, pretty much everyone in the world is going to hate us?

To me, the future is looking pretty bleak. I'm concerned about my rights as a woman and not having the rights I deserve. It saddens me that all 6 states banned the gay marriage initiative. It just hammers in how much we live in extremely intolerant times and that people feel like they have the blessing of God to regulate the lives of others. Crush them. Put them down. It's just not enough to live and let live, is it? I'm scared that Bush will be able to appoint one or more extreme rightist supreme court justices...the implications of which will permeate american policy for the next 40 years. I'm worried that this war in Iraq is not the end of the crusade and that we won't stop until we've invaded the entire middle east and brought North Korea to its knees and make our mark on history as the American Imperialist era. These are not innocent times and now that Bush is in his second term, he has no limitations for fear of being reelected. We've pretty much handed it all over on a silver platter with no restrictions and that scares the crap out me. So America, do you feel safer now? Cuz I sure as hell don't.

In this town we call home, everyone hail to the pumpkin song

Arg! I just wrote a long post and it erased it before I could publish, so here I am rewriting it. My mom and I went to disneyland today. I really needed to get away from school and I've had a very crazy Thursday and Friday night. I wanted nothing more than to relax, go somewhere else, and get my mind off things. I know I am missing some really cool Halloween parties at school tonight and that people are going to tell me all about them and I'll be jealous, but oh well. I've had my fill of parties lately and sometimes you just need to transplant yourself for a day or two and rethink things. So after sleeping in a bit my mom came down and picked me up. We stopped for lunch at what is quickly becoming my favorite restaurant...a hole-in-the-wall vegan restaurant on figueroa. It's nice to discover a place with good food that I can actually eat and that my friends and family like going to also, even though they arent vegetarian. It's a nice break from the Easy Mac macaroni and cheese that constitutes about 70% of my dinners. Easy Mac + microwave popcorn= quintessential college meal.

We took advantage of the one time both my brother and dad decided not to come by going shopping on downtown disney. Matt and dad hate being dragged around and get antsy. I bought my usual caramel apple and a rather funky alice and wonderland bag that I think I'll make good use of. We also lounged on main street and drank raspberry mochas. There's this one area right outside the entrance to CA Adventure that always smells like burnt coffee...it's awful. One nice thing about having a season pass is that we can decide to go on one ride or all of them. Today we only made it to Pirates of the Carribean, which was fine with us. We went to watch the Electrical Light Parade which was lovely. So many twinkling lights. Seriously, Im like a moth. You hold up something sparkly, colorful or shiny and I'm drawn to it, but then again I think most designers are.

For some reason, my mom and I decided that cheetos and diet coke was a perfectly acceptable dinner. I love cheetos. As we were sitting waiting for the parade to start this guy walked by us and flicked his lit cigarette into a nearby bush without even caring. The bush started smoking a little and we had to pour diet coke on it to extinguish it. It worked. Yep, we saved disneyland from being burnt to a crisp. I take great pride in that. I got worn out pretty quick...another sign I need to cool it and rest instead of going out, and probably start taking some vitamins. Overall it was a great day and I'm looking forward to Halloween tomorrow. Lots of scary movies hopefully. I helped out on Friday with the Panhellenic Halloween carnival that was put on for the local elementary school kids. It was a lot of fun. I was at the Go-fish booth where kids put their fishing poles through this canvas thing that looked like the ocean and a "fish" aka another ADPi girl stuck on a piece of candy. The kids were all adorable, even when they were trying to run by you to look under the canvas and exclaim that they "saw people back there, not fish!"

The most memorably thing about today's disneyland trip besides the asshole smoker guy:

1) while we were watching the electrical light parade, a snail crawled onto and attached itself to mom's diet coke bottle. She didn't want to pry to snail off and keep drinking (smart move) so she just let the snail have the diet coke. Good thing Tasha wasn't there...

2) When I was getting off the tram a guy who worked on the tram noticed my ADPi sweatshirt, walked all the way over to me and said "You're in a fraternity? Which fraternity are you in?" No, no i'm not a boy sir. My hair was up in a pony tail, maybe I looked like a boy. Who knows.

Halloween!

Halloween is this Sunday! I've determined that as much as I love Christmas, Halloween is my favorite holiday. When I was little, my family would get really involved in the costume making process. I remember this one halloween my brother and I dressed up as bumblebees and my dad was the flyswatter and constructed this gigantic swatter and chased us around with it. We'd always go to Lombardi's Pumpkin Patch a week or two before Halloween and pick out the most perfect pumpkins we could find. Then we'd lay down the newspaper and carve the pumpkins into fun faces. I never liked touching that gooey pulp inside the pumpkin, but it was fun to line up all our pumpkins outside, stick a votive candle in them, and watch them glow. Then when I got to high school I was obviously too old to trick or treat but we always did this trick or treat for cans which was cool cuz you could still dress up and go out, but this time you were helping a cause and didn't end up with a pillowcase of candy that would sit around for a year uneaten. Last year was raining and I had a cold. This year I have a cold again, but I've got a few fun things lined up for this weekend. Tonight ADPi is having a bbq with Kappa Sigma. Hopefully I'll feel well enough to go to it. Then tomorrow night is a halloween costume party at Angie, Hilary, and Leona's apartment. Saturday I am going to disneyland with my mom. We want to visit the Haunted Mansion and the electrical light parade. Sunday I'm heading home to hang out with some friends, pass out candy, and watch scary movies that will surely give me nightmare for weeks. Sorry this is such an uninteresting blog entry, I'm in a rush to get to a store before it closes. But I'll update on all these events as they happen and I leave you with this ummm....fun list.

Top Ten Reasons Trick-Or-Treating Is Better Than Sex

10. You're guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.

6. The person giving you candy doesn't fantasize you're someone else.

5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.

4. If you wear a Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.

3. It doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. Less guilt the next morning.

1. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.

It runs in the family

About a year ago I taught my mom how to use AIM instant messenger and now I'm glad I did because every once in a while she'll come on and chat with me. We have the most outrageous, strange conversations. And people wonder why I'm so odd? I was lamenting to my mom about boys and the usual crap that I can only talk about with my mom, and instead of offering solice and realistic advice, she usually comes up with things that are of no help whatsoever. Here's a conversation with my mom where it starts off just about boys in general and then...yeah. Taz is our pet dog btw:

jumpingzebra13 (10:51:11 PM): so, the way to boys' hearts is thru their stomach. bake him a side of cow ( barbacue of course )
PrityLittlePixie (10:52:01 PM): ewwwwww, that would be against my principles
PrityLittlePixie (10:52:04 PM): i dont bake cow
jumpingzebra13 (10:52:17 PM): ok...then send him a greased pig
jumpingzebra13 (10:52:34 PM): sue eeeeeeeeeee pig pig pig
PrityLittlePixie (10:52:47 PM): NO ANIMALS
PrityLittlePixie (10:52:55 PM): has the vegan restaurant taught you nothing?
jumpingzebra13 (10:53:20 PM): ok then....construct a fucking chicken out of tofu and see where that gets you
jumpingzebra13 (10:53:42 PM): by the way, i'm eating taz for lunch tomorrow
PrityLittlePixie (10:54:16 PM): WTF?
jumpingzebra13 (10:55:19 PM): yup, and alfred packer was my mentor
PrityLittlePixie (10:56:23 PM): whos alfred packer?
jumpingzebra13 (10:57:40 PM): was a colorado native who went out oh some hiking expedition with a bunch of people. they got stuck in a severe snow storm and he ate them. fight on alfred! they even made a song about him
PrityLittlePixie (10:58:59 PM): FIGHT ON? God, i hope i never get trapped in a snowstorm with you
PrityLittlePixie (10:59:41 PM): why are you so insane?
jumpingzebra13 (11:00:11 PM): because you fool girl, alexander kwasnieski is my cousin and he's the president of poland!!!!!!!
jumpingzebra13 (11:01:29 PM): oh....wait a minute....you are in the family. hahahaha....just a matter of time for you


And there you have it. Im doomed to insanity. Might as well accept it.

If you want to court the little lady, you've gotta be a straight shooter, do ya follow me?

I just woke up from a dream where I had to write a 10 page paper today, but first I had to wander through a giant hardware warehouse looking for flowers with an anonymous frat boy. It was very Eternal Sunshine with people popping up places that they shouldnt be and nothing making sense. Thank god it was just a dream. Lately, Ive been having these dreams that continue all night it seems, sometimes I'll wake up not wanting to fall right back into the same dream, but then I inevitably do when I fall asleep again. Last night and the night before have both been like that. In other things, I wish I didn't get crushes. My crushes change quickly (ive learned by now that it doesnt do well to dwell on them for long periods of time), but theyre always on invariably perfect boys, they never ever work out but I'm always stuck liking these people who either don't like me (about 99% of the time) or are pretty much incompatible. I'm tempted to enter the nunnery (if only i was christian) or just send off for one of those mail order husbands and be done with it.

Yesterday was the USC vs Washington game which wasn't all too interesting to watch. The final score was 38-0 USC. My brother Matt and 3 friends came to the game. I was glad they came (albeit 45 minutes later than they said they would) because I enjoy showing off my school and especially how much fun the football games can be. They seemed to have a good time cheering for SC and we were all secretly cheering for Dan, who we watched play for Washington. It's a very strange thing to see a family friend play college football in a giant coliseum and the whole time youre thinking "wow, he used to sleep on our couch and practically live at our house growing up." Afterwards, A few of the dtd guys decided to get "heart attack dogs" after the game which are basically grease-fried hot dogs with greasy bacon wrapped around it and drizzled with grilled onions. Definitely clogged the arteries a bit more. I dont understand the eating patterns of boys. Sometimes I feel so weird about being vegetarian. Not ever in my choice to be one, but just being around people who don't understand and then they'll usually ask why I do it, and I'll respond that I'm very interested in animal rights and I just didn't like meat that much. They'll look at me like I'm crazy but the part that worries me is that I sound like I'm propogating it or condescendingly telling them they should do it too, which is something I try to avoid. I hope people don't get that impression when I explain my reasons. Andy said he felt bad eating the heart attact dog right in front of me, and I dont want people to feel that way. After the game, I decided to go get Korean BBQ with 3 girls from my house Nancy, Debbie, and Heather and three Delt guys, Andy, Marc, and Phillip. I hadnt planned on going out after the game, but the idea came up and it sounded like fun. We drove out to korea town and I managed to find a vegetable + rice plate at the BBQ and it was very delicious. Afterwards we headed back to school and were still not ready to go home so we went over to the Delt house and hung out and watched people play pool (almost got a row run out of it). Overall it turned into a really fun day and I think more days will turn out like that if I just open up to going to places I normally wouldnt go to on a whim.