A most peculiar mademoiselle

I just got out of my French oral final. Whew, what a load off. I don't think I did exceptionally well, but I think I did ok. I didn't majorly blank out, except for when I forgot how to say "We are going.." and other than that I managed to eek out ten minutes of a conversation entirely in French. My teacher is so nice, I wish i could have her for my remaining two semesters. I spent the last two days pounding french vocab and sentence structure into my brain. I was the last one to go in, which meant 50 minutes of waiting in the hallway. She asked about my family, what my parents do, how old my brother is and what he wants to do for a living, and what I'm going to be doing over christmas break. Luckily, I had prepared for all of the questions so I knew how to respond. I really do enjoy french. As much as I complain about it, I think it's a beautiful language that is wonderful when spoken well.

The final week of school! Now that my oral is over with, I am spending today concentrating on my big design critique. It's our last class and our postcard projects are due. It's definitely true when people say that the things you enjoy doing come out looking the best. My professor liked the progress on my postcards so all I have to worry about are a few minor adjustments. Since it's my teacher's last semester at USC (she's starting her own business and her dad is sick) we decided to get her an orchid plant in a nice pot and a new sketchbook that we are all going to sign. Hope she likes it. And I hope the kids in my class pay me back, that stuff was expensive. I got teased this weekend about going to USC, all in fun of course, but I hate when people joke around that I go to a school full of retards or that I'm not as smart because I'm doing design and art. So I'm not studying biomedical engineering, history, or political science. Those are all wonderful, but in the end it's not what I chose and I don't wanna be prodded because I'm not persuing those things. I feel happy for my major because it's something that I love and I'm happy I'm at USC. It's a great school for what I'm studying, it's providing me contact with great artists in the LA area, and I don't think a lot of people see that. All they see is the reputation.

This weekend is going to be excellent! Saturday is the UCLA vs USC football game which will be an all day event, then Sunday I'm going with my sorority to see Les Miserables. I grew up listening to the music and when we were little Matt and I might have acted it out a few times (we were strange children, musicals were very big in our house), but I've never actually seen it so this will be amazing. My mom recommended bringing a pack of tissues. I wish it was Sunday right now.

[���� to bed at 4 am last night because I decided to go see Hedwig and the Angry Inch play in Hollywood at midnight. I hadn't been in exactly a year, so i thought it would be fun to go again. Kind of a tradition. For those of you who don't know, Hedwig is a modern day Rocky Horror type movie and at the Hollywood show they have people playing along with the movie. Went with Lexi and her brother. They always show these horribly dated previews before the movie; last night's was for "Rock and Roll High" which looked ridiculous and then a preview for this movie called "The Apple" which looks like by far the worst movie in existence. After the show, we were driving home and stopped at a traffic light on Fairfax Blvd. We noticed that the car next to us is filled with what appears to be German tourists smiling at us. It made me rather uncomfortable because they were blatantly staring so Zack, Lexi's brother, rolled down his window and struck up a conversation with the tourists. He asked them if they were enjoying the sites of LA and the german guy said something about creating mischief, the whole while the woman in the front seat stared and smiled at us. I had a few ideas of what that could have meant, perhaps they were in a cult. The light was taking a long time to change so we just sat there uncomfortably, but when it finally did change I yelled "Go" and we hit the gas and ditched the Germans. Silly Germans.

Oh, I think I have a thing for techies. If you've been reading my blog for a long time, you might remember me talking about falling in love with the techie/roadie for the Ataris when they played at USC. Lip ring, bleached hair, black sweatshirt and jeans...oh yes. I could care less about the members of the band, it was all about the techie. Well, last night there was a techie at the Hedwig show who would go up and move sets around stage and various things and I found him so cute. He looked a little older, probably 25-28, but that's ok. I kept staring at him the entire time, maybe I'll look for him next time I go and actually introduce myself this time. Am I destined to marry a techie? I think it is inevitable.

Today's plans include a barbeque at Scott's house and then seeing Bridget Jones' Diary 2 with Jessica, Sachini, and Amy! It's lovely to see my friends again. I miss them all a lot during the year. I'm missing the USC vs. Notre Dame game and am recording it for future viewing, which is like a sin for a USC student. Beat the Irish!

Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, otherwise we'd get along

Today was Thanksgiving and I survived. I normally don't care for Thanksgiving. There's always way too much food around which makes me incredibly nervous and the day is filled watching the Thanksgiving parade on tv and then numerous bad movies that are playing. I got some homework done which is nice, but I havent made a very big dent in the amount I have to get done for monday. I almost finished my essay on protest poster art of the 1960's though so that's one less thing to worry about. But overall it was a fairly nice day. After dinner, my family and I played Loaded Questions, my favorite board game, and then they all went out while I stayed in to do homework and watch Benny and Joon.

The other day, my design teacher brought all her sketchbooks in to class. She has kept one a year since graduating from pasadena art center, the school I probably should have gone to, so she brought them in a big cardboard box. It was fascinating to see. She encouraged us all to keep a sketchbook, even though we are design majors because it is supposed to help with the creative process. I feel like my drawings are like a five year old's compared to the stuff she showed us, but it might be nice to keep it just for me and whatever pops into my mind. She was telling us how she used to go sit in the local laundromat and sketch the people who would come in to do laundry and draw them as whatever time period she thought they looked like. I had a blank 11 x 14 inch one sitting in my room so I think Im gonna pick it up tonight and start drawing it in. Back in high school, my art teacher used to want us to turn in our sketchbook for a grade at certain times throughout the semester, and I'd never do it until an hour before class. I'd end up scribbling down anything I could think of. Started looking into internships for this upcoming summer and found some interesting ones. There are internships at Warner Brothers in the graphic design department which look amazing and I'm definitely going to apply for. Then there's one at 20th Century Fox as a designer for Fox Sports News and another one at Rhino Records. I'm going to keep looking, but i think the internship route is the way to go for this summer.

One of the movies that just happened to be on tv today was Runaway Bride with Richard Gear and Julia Roberts. In the movie, Julia Roberts character keeps running away from weddings and part of it is that she doesn't have a sense of self but becomes whatever the guy likes. For example, she kept changing her favorite type of eggs to whatever type of eggs her fiance liked: poached, scrambled, eggs benedict, etc. It made me think if I ever do that sort of thing and I think I might do that to an extent with music. I mean, I don't listen to things that I normally would never listen to, but I go through phases of music that I start listening to when I like different people. I won't say which musical phase I'm in now because it would probably give it away, but it reminds me of the High Fidelity quote, "Which came first, the music or the misery?"

Anyway, hope everyone reading this is having an excellent holiday. I'm definitely looking forward to the next few days because I've only seen a couple of people so far. Was a bit of a hermit today, but that'll change tomorrow.

We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams

I'm thinking that Thanksgiving Break is kind of a cruel joke. The teachers like to tease by saying "Have a great break. Get some good rest." But they don't mean it. There is no way you can have a good rest because you are given piles of homework to get done for monday. On my list of things due Monday is my politics final project on the political protest posters of the 1960s complete with an artsy homemade book displaying the posters and a 2-3 page paper about why they were important in the scope of the 60s, one design project featuring a series of 13 postcards I wrote about in my last entry and one design visual metaphor poster project, and an intimidating-as-hell-wet-my-pants french oral exam. All due Monday. So as i sit with my fancy Thanksgiving feast I will have the thought of all that work circling in my brain. And I'll probably have to cut out some quality friend time with people coming home from across the country to do homework. It's not a new thing, ever since elementary school Thanksgiving has been snatched away by evil teachers. I suppose that we got the assignments way in advance, but really, with a constant stream of midterms and papers, who has time to work ahead on upcoming projects?

Things I'm looking forward to this weekend:
1) going to see Bridget Jones' Diary with Amy and Jessica! And hopefully my mom will make a batch of her famous popcorn. It's a tradition.
2) mashed potatoes...we always have homemade mashed potatoes (without onions!) for thanksgiving dinner and they're my favorite part of the night
3) after dinner board game on Thanksgiving night. Yeah, super corny, I know. But I really do consider my family to also be my friends and it's a tradition to play a board game like Loaded Questions that night. You may call us The Cleavers. I guess that would make me Wally. Matt is Beaver.
4) USC vs. Notre Dame football game. I've turned into a football obsessed woman. My daily schedule on saturdays rotates around who is playing that day. I'll be watching from the comfort of my living room, but it's guaranteed to be an exciting game.
5) Hedwig friday night...possibly? I'm not sure if this one is gonna work out, but I haven't been in about a year and I'd like to go again.
6) Amoeba Records run hopefully. I haven't been since summertime and I am desperately needing some new cds. I never bought the Strokes cds and I have been wanting to buy the Eternal Sunshine sountrack for months. I feel the urge to spend hours browsing. I don't have a group for this yet, so if youre interesting in going at some point this weekend, please let me know.

Things I'm not looking forward to:
1) mainly just mounds of homework crushing every fiber of my soul
2) stepping on my scale Friday morning only to discover that I have gained 20 pounds and need a crane to get out of my house.
3) returning to school with nothing between me and finals. Gulp.
4) Seeing my friends and realizing how much I miss them the other 200 days of the year that they're away.

But if I know you, I know what you'll do

I thought I'd take a few day hiatus from updating seeing as I was getting a little crazy with it. I think I even posted twice in one day. Geez. Noticing that my cold was getting worse and my asthma got stirred up, I decided to spend this weekend at home. Mainly just resting and stuff. Yesterday I went to see the Incredibles. Whenever I see anything by Pixar, it makes me want to work there again and kinda sad that i don't do more digital animation. I had a lot of fun with 3d animation, even though it can be incredibly frustrating to create. Too bad the job market is so unstable for it. But I give them a lot of credit. They have to have the patience to work for years on one project and spend days on painstakingly small details of the film. Saturday night we had a thanksgiving dinner with my church. It was pretty yummy and there was a lot of food there. The thing I always hate about the holidays though is how it brings back all the food issues I have that kinda get buried during the year. I can't stand watching people eat that much food. All I can think of is clogged arteries and heart attacks that excessive weight can bring and it scares me...not for my sake (im a good weight), but for my family. My grandfather died of a heart attack. I think a lot of my weight issues disappeared when i came to college. I was surrounded by young fit people and I didnt have to worry about it. I've noticed that the problem starts coming back when I'm around my family and I have a harder time controling it. Booo holidays.

Today I spent the day at the doctor's office. Two hours in the waiting room! Luckily, I finally got in and he gave me some prescribed cough medicine and a new inhaler. I should be better in a week or so. My mom and I rented Shrek 2 and watched it this afternoon. Right now, I'm working on my design project which is to create a series of postcards advertising whatever we want. People in the class are doing some pretty cool topics. The muppets, a new hybrid car, the movie Seven, Pharcyde, the marx brothers, the process of jewlelry making. I decided to pretend that the American Ballet Theater is putting on a production of the Nutcracker. I have a series of 13 postcards on which there's a representation of each dance in the nutcracker. I'm having a lot of fun with it, doesn't even feel like homework. I think that's a good sign that I chose the right major for me. I can sit down and work for hours on it, but never feel like I'm being forced to. So now I'm listening to the Nutcracker soundtrack performed by the London Symphony Orchestra because the postcards got me in the mood for it. I really miss ballet around this time of the year, especially pointe. I must have danced that ballet 100 times, well probably more like ten times, but i still really miss it. When I was a little girl, I always wanted to be Clara, but as I got older i realized she didn't actually do much dancing, so then i thought the ideal role would be the Sugarplum fairy. She has a gorgeous dance at the very end of the ballet that segways into a pas de deux with the prince. I was hoping that this year, my mom and I could go up to see the San Francisco Ballet perform the nutcracker over winter break. I think they're probably the 2nd or 3rd best ballet company in the country next to the American Ballet Theater in New York and it would make my year to see their production of it.

Instead of screams I swear I can hear music in the air

For the past few weeks, the unitarian group that I am a part of here on the USC campus has been planning to participate in this big Interfaith Celebration where people from a bunch of religious groups on campus would come together and share a 5 minute presentation of their faiths. I hadn't really expected much, but I was pleasantly surprised. The turnout was very large...way more than I had expected. Over the course of the night, representatives from the Catholic, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, Quaker, Atheist, Pagan, Baha'i, Hindu, Protestant, Latter Day Saints, Jains, Episcopalian, Christian Scientists, Wiccan, Sikh, and unitarian universalists. It turned out to be a very cool night. People presented their faiths in songs, poems, chants, meditation, skits, dances, all sorts of ways. It was informing and interesting, especially to see that there are still people in this world willing to open up their minds to people of other faiths, hear what they have to say, and possibly leave with a new dimension to add to their own faith. I know I learned a lot from the other groups. Our group consists of 3 people sadly enough, but we read a children's story and then lit a candle. "We gather this hour as a people of faith with joys and sorrows, gifts and needs. We light this beacon of hope, sign of truth and meaning, in celebration of the life we share together." Afterwards, they had really yummy kiesh. I'm glad things turned out as well as they did and I'm hoping that I can become even more active on campus next semester, at least with interfaith council or something. I think at this time in the US it's important to be a reminder that morality can appear in many forms and religions, not just the one. I'm kind of wondering, in a relationship, how important is religion? I'm guessing it can become a pretty big deal when you have a married couple, both different faiths, trying to decide what to raise the kids as. Being in the religious minority, i wonder if it will be that much harder to find a guy I could see myself marrying, but I'm guessing that if you don't place a lot of importance on it, you can overlook the issue entirely. Or at least I hope so for the sake of my love life. haha. Seeing as the UU population is about .5%

In other news, i'm still sick! I got some cough medicine but it hasn't seemed to do much so I think I'm doomed to a weekend full of laying around coughing. My lungs have that awful burny feeling. I think im starting to get a sore throat too, boo! It's 830 and I could fall asleep right now and sleep through the night. But it could be worse.

I am dying my hair this weekend. I need a change and this is as good a time as any. I've gone through the radical stage with purple and blue and jet black, but I think Im going to be more subtle this time and do auburn. It'll be nice and hopefully I wont come out looking like a clown. Once when trying to get red hair, it came out pink/orange and I ended up walking around with a floppy hat for a week before being able to dye it back.

Only 6 days until Thanksgiving break. I can't wait to see you all!

Let us pull up a chair as the dining room proudly presents...your dinner

I cannot be getting another cold. I pride myself on having a good immune system and I tend to only get sick once a semester, that's all I'll tolerate. But i've already had my one cold this semester and I fear I'm getting sick again. It started right before today's sorority initiations (for the newest girls) with a cough and the cough won't seem to go away. It's that annoying one that tightens up your chest and you cough incessantly. I really hate when people whine about getting colds as if no one besides them has had one before and it's the end of the world. I'm sure with an abundance of vitamin C and some nyquil, I can stop this cough before it turns into a full blown cold and gets in the way of a good Thanksgiving weekend. Sara told me a funny story today about her trip to the ER recently for mono and how the nurse gave her an IV, but there wasn't any fluid injection going in, so she was basically just sitting there with a needle in her arm. Not so funny at the time I'm sure, but very much so in retrospect.

I'm so glad I subscribed to this magazing called Print. Not only is it one of the best graphic design magazines that I've found (yes, there are several out there as random as that seems), but they sent me their annual design review. it's got about 100 pages crammed full of some of the best graphic design out this year broken down by region of the US. What's great about that is it includes the names of the design firms that created each piece and where theyre located, so I have a bunch of firms to look into. I found a few great ones up in Seattle. One in particular is called Sub Pop Records and created the album designs for both of The Shins cds. I would love to work in Seattle. Or really, maybe I just wanna go anywhere else. Get a sense of another place in this world. 15 years in LA is enough for the time being. I need to become worldly and now that my england semester is out of the picture, I find myself looking at places I would normally consider for when I graduate and am gonna start looking for a job. There's a difference between the magazines that show design just for the sake of being artsy and the ones that show graphic design in the real world, through advertising and promotions or for some sort of viable purpose. Oh man, I think sometimes I am the only person remotely interested in this stuff. But its my major and I'm a firm believer that you must ADORE what you do or youll be burned out within 5 years of graduation.

I guess that's about it for now, I thought there was more I wanted to write, but I'm not one of those people whose minds function well late at night...in fact my mind is slowly starting to shut down. A sure sign i need a good night's sleep. So until tomorrow, goodnight.

And where I now lead a strange half-life with a lodger called Spike

"Notting Hill, my favorite bit of London. There's the market on weekdays selling every fruit and vegetable known to man. The tattoo parlour with a guy outside who got drunk and now can't remember why he chose 'I Love Ken'. The radical hairdressers where everyone comes out looking like Cookie Monster, whether they'd like to or not. The suddenly it's the weekend and from break of day hundreds of stalls appear out of nowhere, filling Portobello Road right up to Notting Hill Gate. And thousands of people buy millions of antiques, some genuine and some...not so genuine. And what's great is that lots of friends have ended up in this part of London. So this is where I spend my days and years--in this small village in the middle of a city, in a house with a blue door."

Sigh, to think I'm not going to be able to spend a semester here. Mourning the loss of my London semester. But its ok, Im already thinking of moving there after college to get a graphic design job. Or if all else fails and I'm stuck in the US for a long time, then I can move to England when I'm an old lady and open a bed and breakfast in a quaint English town. Hey, maybe I'll still be able to meet an english boy too and live happily ever after. Crossing my fingers I will be in england one day, later if not sooner.

I had dinner with my dad tonight because he just got back from New Orleans. I happen to be strangely in love with New Orleans for the architecture, art, and music. So while my dad was there he found this amazing book called The FBI Files by Arnold Mesches. He was actually a fine arts teacher at USC in the 1950's, but what happened was he had an FBI file during the McCarthy era and when it was released, he turned it into this massive art project, adorning each page of the file with different art, painting, collage. My dad brought me back the book and I think it is by far the coolest thing I've seen in a while. Let me know if you wanna check it out.

She warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within

I've been having the feeling of displacement the last few days and I'm not sure why. I think perhaps it's just time for a break from here and some time to spend with family and friends at home. I can't wait to see my high school friends over winter break. I dunno, lately I feel that I have been heading in a direction I don't want to go in. This is not who I want to be in the long run. We had homecoming yesterday and it was so-so. The game turned out to suck a bit because by the time we got there, there weren't any seats left with our group or anywhere for that matter so we were standing by the aisle but the security guard was yelling at us to move so we couldnt even pay attention to the game. Also, was taking care of several drunk people at the same time and it was a little bit more than I wanted to handle. A few girls and I ended up leaving, going back to the house and ordering pizza. It turned out that it was much more fun to watch the game from the warmth and coziness of the den. Afterwards, we wanted to go out b/c we figured there would be things going on, but it was a pretty dead night. Ended up hanging out at the delt house for a bit and then going home. Fred was at the Delt house though! He is a funny french asian alumni who graduated last year, majored in business, and is now making six figured working in NYC. Crazy. I saw alumni Andrew and John at the game too way up in the stands, but was too laden with drunk people to go say hi. I think I need to branch out more. It's nice to have good friends there, but I need to know people from other houses, or just stop going out so much in general. Perhaps time for me to meet a guy who I know wants to hang out with me outside all that. Heather made a good point last night when she said with this system, you never know if your friends there really want to be around you, because you as the girl came to them and they may just be being nice. I tend to think everyone is just being nice. Only one way to tell I guess. In fact, I'm pretty burned out on going out at all. Maybe that'll be the end of it for the semester.

Went to see Alfie on Friday night with some ADPi girls. It was the first movie I've been out to see in about a month and a half. I got movie theater popcorn. It's a shame too because I didn't think it was a very good movie, and there are so many I'm waiting to see including I heart Huckabees, Bridget Jones' Diary, and the Polar Express.

My second sorority invite kinda crept up on me. It's this friday already! I'm wrestling with whether to go or not. The thing is, I don't have a date but there's no one I really know who I'd necessarily wanna bring. Well, there is of course, but that can never happen. My first invite was a lot of fun. It was a semi formal, we all went to dinner and danced and I had a great time. Well, i dunno if andy did, but I had a lot of fun. This invite I'm less jazzed about for some reason. I wouldn't want to be set up, b/c the possibility for a disastrous and painful evening is about 50/50 and I don't wanna risk it. I want to bring someone who likes to dance and who likes to have fun because it's a themed invite so he'd have to dress up. But really, I'm thinking it might all be too much of a hassle. I hate asking people, perhaps thats one of the reason I never went to the dances in high school. So maybe I will go down to pitzer that night to see Tasha's show or maybe I will sit home with a book and die fat and alone and be found dead 3 weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs. Anyway, we'll see how the week goes, but I'm not really expecting anything to come of it. Hopefully I'll be in a better mood though.

But they say if you dream a thing more than once it's sure to come true

I know that the election has come and gone, but I have a section of a speech I'd like to post because it deals with how I feel about the post war climate and how difficult it is to communicate with those of oppossing views in this election compared to others. This is taken from a speech by my minister Rev Ricky Hoyt who I find extremely eloquent, but it's not religious at all in context so I think a majority of people can relate.

"If it were just policies where we disagreed we could talk it out, but I don't know how to have a respectful dialogue with people who don't share my values. I don't understand these people, more than half of Americans. I don't share their vision, or want what they want. We have to talk to each other, but I don't know how, and that scares me more than anything else about this post-election situation. American voters seem to feel it's more important to prevent two men or women from getting married, than it is to fairly distribute the nation's wealth, ensure universal access to health care, and protect our environment. American voters seem to feel it's more important to defend the sanctity of the potential life of unborn fetuses than it is to protect the sanctity of the lives of young men and women by not involving them in an unjust and unnecessary war. National community depends on our finding shared values deeply hidden beneath those choices. I can't today, tell you what those shared values could be. The work to uncover them will be long and hard. I can only hope we're successful.

Alan Keyes, who lost to Barack Obama in the Illinois senate race, illustrated this difficulty of dialogue without shared values from the conservative side of the divide. He refused to congratulate Obama for his victory insisting that to do so would be a "false gesture." He asked rhetorically, "I'm supposed to make a call that represents the congratulations toward the triumph of that which I believe ultimately stands for and will stand for a culture evil enough to destroy the very soul and heart of my country?"

And there are many on both sides uninterested in dialogue even if we could find a common language in which to speak. Christian talk radio host, Frank Pastore said, "In the weeks and months to come we will hear the voices of well-meaning people beseeching the victor to compromise with the vanquished. This would be a mistake. Conservatives must not compromise with the left. Good people holding false ideas are won over only if we defeat what is false with the truth."

Bush, to his credit, in the press conference he gave the day after the election was decided, extended a hand to unifying the country by acknowledging, "Democrats want a free and peaceful world." But his slight nod toward shared values failed to comfort me. I don't doubt that Democrats want a free and peaceful world. In my heart I'm still confidant that most Republicans want a free and peaceful world. What I doubt is that George Bush wants a free and peaceful world. It isn't in the service of peace that a President leads the nation into war against a country that had never attacked us, never threatened us, and posed no imminent danger to us. It isn't in the service of freedom that our Attorney General indefinitely imprisons hundreds of persons without trial or even charges brought against them, nor through the so-called Patriot Act circumscribes the liberties of millions of Americans.

In re-electing George Bush, Americans have made a Faustian bargain. They elected him because he stands with them against gay marriage, for the protection of the unborn, for a stronger role for their churches, and a reserved place for God language in public life. But if they truly support peace and freedom they have compromised those great values in favor of the lesser values of tradition, absolutism, piety, and security. Bush has proudly labeled himself a war president, not a peace president. And the freedom he offers, to both Iraqis and Americans, comes with barbed wire on the walls and bars on the windows.

I can't preach a message of hope, today. It's too soon for hope. I know when hope comes it will come through action, which is always the antidote to despair. Much action will be called for between now and November 2008. I know when hope comes it will be through the resurgence of faith in the good of human persons and our freedom to shape our lives and the world in line our good choices. Much need for good people to make good choices will arise between now and November 2008.

But today it's too soon for hope. Our nation and our world suffered a severe reverse on Tuesday. We need to feel that loss and spend sufficient time in mourning. There's no need for hope today. Today we need only heartfelt sadness, deep hurt, and bitter anger. Sadness, hurt and anger are required today. I won't try to talk you out of it or rush you through it. What we need today is not reasons to feel better, though comfort will come in time, but like-minded companions to share our pain.

May we be such for each other and for our world."

After hours of drawing graphs and looking at all the classes I need to take to graduate, Ive found a way to squeeze in everything. Unfortunately, that means 20 units next semester. So if you want to spend time with me, do it now, because once mid-January rolls around and school starts up again, the only time you'll see me is as a blur spinning down the halls of Troy East much like Taz from looney toons. I dont know how this happened or where along the line my credits got screwed up, but I can't do my semester abroad and have to do 20 units next semester so that I wont have to add an extra semster to the end. Dang. It's not all bad though, I'll be taking mostly classes I'm interested in and that sound like a lot of fun. Here's what my final schedule works out to be:

1) Visual Culture and Literacy: Exploration of visual thinking and communication in art and popular culture: interpretation of the personal and social context, function and lineage of the image.

2) Design III: Graphic Design for Fine Arts: In this course, specific instruction will cover topics such as image-text integration, single and double page layouts, typography, sequential flow, continuity and emphasis in a moving field, etc. Topics such as color theory and composition will be examined at a higher level. Assignments will imitate areas where graphics and fine arts overlap, such as public service announcements and advocacy graphics. Assignments will focus on hard copy and web designs.

3) Photography A: The purpose of this course is to provide technical and conceptual background upon which to build a viable and engaging photographic practice within an art context. This course will introduce you to a basic set of procedures and theoretical considerations which are central to an art practice utlizing photography. Through each area, the student develops an individual/independant relationship between themselves as artists and the medium of photography in a fine arts context.

4) Intro to Advertising: History and development of advertising; basic advertising campaigns showing relationships of marketing, creative, print and electronic media.

5) French II: Obviously the next level of french

I'll tell you a tale of the bottomless blue

So I'm in quite the predicament with my college credits. There are three things that I am very picky about in my life: food, boys, and my 3 year class schedule plan. I had my academic advisement this morning and no matter how totally prepared I am when I go in to meet her, by the time I leave my plans are in shambles and I'm left with very little time to sort them out before registration. This semester's advisement was no different. I went through the trouble of preparing a 3 year plan for all my course from sophomore year through senior year, factoring in my advertising minor and a semester in England and it seemed to work out fine on paper. Perhaps it worked simply because I wanted it to work out, but when i got to advisement she told me that I was forgetting a shitload of lower and upper division art classes that dont count to my emphasis (intermedia studios, photography classes, etc). HOW COULD I HAVE OVERLOOKED THESE?! So I am now faced with the fact that there is no way I can get my cake and eat it too. In fact, I will be slaving away for the next 3 years just to graduate on time in busywork classes like moldmaking and metal. And college is supposed to be the best time of your life, eh? Here are my options:

1) get rid of the study abroad semester in england and work my ass off with 18 units every semester for the next 3 years to graduate in Spring 2007. I think this will be the best choice seeing as england was just a desire of mine and not beneficial to my schooling at all. Sigh, I'm really going to miss it though. It's the thing Ive been dreaming about since 9th grade and when things go bad I think "Oh its ok, because soon I'll be in sitting in hyde park with a cup of tea and a good book." I had all these plans to go there and meet my cute british boy soulmate at some cafe where he'd be playing acoustic guitar and get married and have cute british children. Sigh

2) Take as many advertising courses as I can squeeze in but not worry about completing the minor. I dont feel good about this option. I want that advertising minor to my name and if it means sacrificing my semester abroad to do it, so be it. With such a flimsy major such as fine arts you need something strong like advertising to back it up.

3) Do an extra semester at USC before graduation and be a 5th year senior. I, again, dont like this option but it may be my only choice. I havent figured it out yet, but even working 18 units for the rest of the time might not be enough and I'll be forced to be a really really old graduate. Shit.

It doesn't help that my advisor is perhaps the scariest woman on the face of the planet. So as I sit here with my STARS report and my 3 year plan (which is now worthless) trying to figure out how I am going to possibly squeeze everything in, I am jealous of people who have switched their major around 3 times and still are able to graduate on time no problem. Damn you all.

Get out of my way, mooooootherfucker

I had been anticipating last night for about 3 weeks. Largo sells out of reservation spots really early, so I had to call in weeks in advance. But last night finally came and after some minor setbacks Nancy, her friend James, and I went to see Jon Brion. Let me just say, I am a little smitten with Jon Brion, despite the fact that he's in his late 30's, drinks guiness like it's water, and is a total oddball. I think most girls would agree that musical talent automatically makes someone attractive. I can't explain it, that's just how it is. I was a little nervous about the disclaimer saying you had to be 21 to get in. I have seen the show once before, but it seems that every once in a while they get anal and give you a hard time. We didn't have any problems this time however and they didnt even ask my age so either I looked old or they just didn't care because we were all paying for full dinners. I'm guessing the latter. They had this interesting lady as an opening act. I can't remember her name, but she was wearing what looked like an old potato sack as a dress and you could just tell she was a crazy liberal feminist. Then Jon Brion came on and started the show off with a political song that he seemed to make up on the spot. The next song was a mocking rendition of Dixie land. He went on throughout the night to play "Meaningless" and "Walking Through Walls" from his solo album and a few of the amazing new I Heart Huckabees songs. The second set he left for audience requests and he did "Dont Stop Believing" but with the funny instrument that distorts your voice. He also did "This Will Be Our Year" by the Zombies and finished the show with a 20 minute version of "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times." For a few songs he got lost in his guitar for minutes on end and totally rocked out. He gets in this zone where it's like he doesnt even know the audience is there and its just him and the music. I, of course, sat with my jaw dropped to the floor in amazement as he did an incredible drum solo, then looped it with piano, bass, and guitar in front of our eyes. Every time I see him, I am in awe of his talent and always leave inspired to put that kind of passion into something. Not music for the obvious reason that I don't play any musical instruments, but into something...perhaps art. It seems that people are drawn to that kind of passion. Lately I've been forgetting that or trying to override that with a need to be more normal, but sometimes embracing the quirky is worth it if you're throwing your passion and creativity into something. I start to feel like I'm not really living or pursuing every possibility and I need to see someone living out their passion to remind me of it. This guy at the bar got really REALLY drunk and started singing along loudly to all Jon Brion's songs and we all got annoyed, but I think someone told him to shut up.

Jon Brion was hanging out by the door after the show and even though he was talking to this older couple and I didnt want to be rude and break up their conversation, I felt like saying something so I just said "great show" as we left and he said a very nice "Thank you." See, best friends already. So I left in a state of musical serenity with all the annoyance of the events of the day completely wiped away...and actually a major question that's been occupying my mind for a while was answered.

An apple for serenity, a pendant for balance...

So brigitte and I both decided to fast yesterday. They were advertising this event on campus called the Fast-a-thon which is put on by the Muslim Student Organization and coincides with Ramadan. They had corporate sponsers pledge to donate money to aid this humanitarian organization for however many non-muslim students fasted, so we did. It was pretty easy seeing as it was just for a day, but towards the end i was getting pretty hungry. Brigitte was scaring me towards the end when she said "I'm so hungry I could eat you!" and then stared at me as if she just might. We went to the mosque on Exposition and Vermont to view some of the prayers and then break the fast and listen to some people talk about spirituality. Overall, it was a lot of fun. It's always interesting to see how other religions practice...even if it's just a small glimpse into their practices.

Afterwards, I headed over to Ground Zero coffee shop where I was supposed to be meeting some sorority people for a live out event but it turned out to be only me and megan, and it wasnt jazz like we had expected. Instead it was some moshing metal band and even though usually I get into punk music, I just wasnt feeling them. I came home and continued to feed my Sex and the City obsession. Tonight is Jon Brion! Unfortunately, they only gave me reservations for 3 and not 7, but that's ok. I'll be trying to take the other people who can't go this time some time soon. I'm so excited though, I haven't gone to see his show since mid-summer and I'm sure this will be a good one.

When the moon is in the seventh house...

My birthday is on February 13 and I will be turning 20. Strange to think about. When I was a little kid I never pictured myself at age 20 or beyond that. I don't know what I thought would happen at this point. Maybe Id magically disappear into a cloud of smoke or perhaps I would just stay 10 years old forever. But here it is...just two months away. Anyway, I got this invitation from the facebook to join the "Aquarians rule" group. I don't put much faith in astrology just like I don't put much faith into much of anything besides tangible reason and tested science, but it's interesting to see just how much I fit in with the typical definition always given to an Aquarius' personality. Not to say that it by any means predicts my future, but by coincidence many of my traits are also described in the Aquarius mold. For example, here is the big description of Aquarians from the face book thing.

"Aquarius is the eleventh Sign of the Zodiac, and Aquarians are the perfect representatives for the Age of Aquarius. Those born under this Sign have the social conscience needed to carry us into the new millennium. They are extremely tuned in to creative energy. These folks are humanitarian, philanthropic and keenly interested in making the world a better place. Along those lines, they'd like to make the world work better, which is why they focus much of their energy on our social institutions and how they work (or don't work). Aquarians are visionaries, progressive souls who love to spend time alone thinking about how things can be better. They are also quick to engage others in this process, which is why they have so many friends and acquaintances. Making the world a better place is a collaborative effort for Aquarians."

Traditional Aquarian Traits:
Friendly and humanitarian
Honest and loyal
Original and inventive
Independent and intellectual

On the dark side....
Intractable and contrary
Perverse and unpredictable
Unemotional and detached

Interesting, huh? These are good and bad. I think about all this now because lately some things havent worked out like I wanted in terms of relationships while a bunch of people I know are falling into really good relationships and it just seemed like time to reassess why. I enjoy the fact that social issues mean as much to me as they do...i guess I'm just one of those idealistic people, but I still cling to the idea that things can change. Vegetarianism is extremely important to me (not for everyone, but just a goal for myself) as is human rights around the world and the environment, the typical liberal eh? The downside is that my interest in these things is not something that is of interest to about 80% of the guys I meet here. Business and finance bore me to death and I can't connect on the same level with those people. I often hear that Aquarians are more artistic and funky than most people, which definitely suits my personality, but I'm not so sure I'm happy about this. Yes, being artisitic is wonderful. I'm an art major and like the idea that one day I might be able to put out some cool artwork into the world. But on the downside, this type of thing often alienates me from the population of USC. I am a little offbeat and don't act like most of the girls around here whose topics focus on shopping, fashion, and flirting. I lose out a lot of times because I don't get into the whole flirting thing which other girls too. Apparently it works. I expected this sort of thing in high school, but Im starting to wonder if the roles ever change or expand because at this point in life I know I'm never gonna fit in with that.

In addition, another Aquarius trait I seem to possess is the tendency to be unemotional, independent, and detached. Anyone who knows me...this is very true. I can have all the passion for art and humanitarianism possible, but when it comes to personal relationships there's a box and I'm starting to wonder if that's ever going to change. I get bored very easily in relationships. I'm extremely low maintenance, but I might be too low maintenance in that I like extremely independant relationships. I get smothered if someone calls too much, those couples that spend every waking second with each other kind of piss me off. I guess that can actually be seen as a plus, but i feel like it's restrictive to closeness. Sigh, so there you have it. The typical Aquarian. So what does this mean? Am I cosmically restricted to these traits for all eternity or is there the possibility to assess and make better? Now that I notice these, I think I can actively work to minimize all the bad stuff and pump up the good.

we're fucked

I was originally planning to write this entry about the 1960's which I am taking a class about and is particularly fascinating to me right now, but I find myself incapable to think about anything besides the election results. I'm in a state of complete shock...still not able to register that this is actually happening. All I feel is despair and a whole lot of anger. For other elections in the past, the results have not been what I wanted but Ive never felt the sort of urgency for change than during this presidential election and now that Bush has been elected for yet another 4 years in office, I want nothing more than to move out of the country and get as far away as possible. But really, how did this happen? Is America that obsessed with "morality" (which is basically a code for super conservative religious values like abortion and gay rights because let's face it, you can't call Kerry a person without morals unless youre pigeon-holing the definition of morals to extreme Christianity) that it can't see what's going on in the world? Just throw the "G" word at them ( god, gospel, gays, and guns ) and they forget everything that bush has done wrong the last 4 years and freak out. Now keep in mind when I say that, I'm not putting down religion in general. The thing I have a problem with is when a person or group of people have a set of beliefs that they push onto others and say "well, I believe this and therefore everyone else should follow". It's at that point when it stops being just religion but turns into intolerance and bigotry. Who cares that we invaded a country, thumbing our nose at the cooperative efforts of the United Nations as we went, with no evidence in the name of "stopping terrorism" and killed thousands of Iraqi men, women and children. Who cares if a woman's rights over her own body get stomped on and the clock gets turned back 30 years to a time when droves of women were dying from botched abortions in unsafe conditions? It happened back then and it'll happen again. Who cares if the economy sinks to its demise and we lose over thousands upon thousands of jobs...they'll still vote Bush? Who fucking cares if all the nations of this world were watching carefully to see who the American people were going to support and now that we've freely embraced Bush again, pretty much everyone in the world is going to hate us?

To me, the future is looking pretty bleak. I'm concerned about my rights as a woman and not having the rights I deserve. It saddens me that all 6 states banned the gay marriage initiative. It just hammers in how much we live in extremely intolerant times and that people feel like they have the blessing of God to regulate the lives of others. Crush them. Put them down. It's just not enough to live and let live, is it? I'm scared that Bush will be able to appoint one or more extreme rightist supreme court justices...the implications of which will permeate american policy for the next 40 years. I'm worried that this war in Iraq is not the end of the crusade and that we won't stop until we've invaded the entire middle east and brought North Korea to its knees and make our mark on history as the American Imperialist era. These are not innocent times and now that Bush is in his second term, he has no limitations for fear of being reelected. We've pretty much handed it all over on a silver platter with no restrictions and that scares the crap out me. So America, do you feel safer now? Cuz I sure as hell don't.