As the last week of being at USC goes by, I find my room looking more and more bare. Liz took down all her posters and packed up her books so her side is entirely white and empty. She's leaving on Friday afternoon. We are going to try and hang out tomorrow afternoon. For the last few weeks Ive been dying for these few weeks to fly by so I can be home and enjoy the summer, but now that it's right upon me I find that Im appreciating these last few days a lot more. I've been packing stuff up and sending it home in trips, my parents are the coolest for driving down here so much and carting all my crap home. I accumulated a whole lot more than I brought to school last August. I don't like empty dorm rooms. I'm trying to decide whether to go home for a day this weekend seeing as I only have the one final on monday to study for, but on the other hand Id kind of like to stay here and soak up as much USC as I can. I'll be deprived of it all summer. I'm mainly optimistic about the upcoming days and weeks though. I might go to pitzer with brigitte one last time to see everyone there after monday, but nothing's really planned yet.
I forgot to register for my COC classes today so I have to wait until monday. What a hassle. I decided on Intro to Maya Animation, Interactive Animation for the Web (basically Flash), and Dreamweaver. I hope there's room in all those classes. Ill be very computer savvy after it's all finished. Had my last drawing critique today, and good riddance! No more scrambling in the morning to scribble out an entire drawing project or getting covered in charcoal that won't wash off for days no matter how much you scrub. I'm not a fine artist and Ive come to accept that. haha, give me a computer any day.
Today's a very important day to me for other reasons though. I don't often like to bring this up because 1) It's probably the most personal thing to me ever (i can deal with most other things people throw at me) and 2) I don't want to seem like I'm whining or saying that my life has been so hard and poor me, look what I lost. Most everyone has some pretty bad shit in their life and from what I've found, if you let it consume you, then youre gonna have some pretty big problems and complexes. Instead though, Id rather this be a tribute and just to pay homage to someone's memory. Anyways, today is May 4th, and this is the day that my sister died. My sister, Andrea, for those of you who don't know, was a year older than me and died when i was very young so that I never got the chance to know her as well as I wouldve liked. Nonetheless, her presence even for a short time has made such a huge impact on my life. About this time of year I like to take time to think about her because my family has made it a point to not talk about it. I dont even know a lot of the circumstances of her death, but I can only imagine the amount of pain that my parents went through and the strength that they had to carry on and be as cool to us as they were. What kind of relationship could I have if she was alive all these years? Would I have turned out the same or radically different? Would we look alike? It would have been an amazing gift to have a big sister and knowing that I did for a short while and it was taken away from me makes me sadder than I can say. No point in looking back like that because you can drive yourself crazy. I've visited the grave in Colorado a few times and sometimes I just want to rage at fate (not that i really buy into fate or destiny) for not allowing things to be perfect, but at this point in my life I like to look back with happiness that she was around at all and to tell the world and remind myself that there was this unbelievable little girl, her name was andrea, and she left far too soon.
Anyways, definitely enough of that. You won't hear about that until next year Im sure. I'm having a craving to go dancing, so anyone who would also like to go dancing this summer, please let me know and we'll set something up. Tomorrow Im going on an adventure on the MTA bus to sunset and melrose with some excellent usc girls. Must limit the amount of cash I bring for fear of seeing too much I like and buying it all. Ill update soon with how that went.
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