I'm writing this report on animal rights for my writing class right now and doing all the research has been almost a joy because it has taught me even more and reassures my choice of vegetarianism. Not that I'm saying everyone should be one. I'm not trying to tell anyone that they should be; I have loads of friends who aren't and I could care less. I think it's an incredibly personal choice, much like religion, so it annoys me when people try to force it on someone else. But when people find out that I am a vegetarian the first question they always ask me is "So why did you decide to do that?" I always get a little uncomfortable, stare at the ground, and usually answer with a mumbled "oh...ummm...i like animals." I never really know how to answer. Just knowing even more about the incredibly horrible treatment that animals receive in the united states has given me a lot of facts to answer with. The egg industry is disgusting. They stick 7-8 hens in a 19x20x14 inch cage with wire mesh for a floor and often times hens get stuck in these giant rollers and die. The cattle industry is no better where they keep young cows (for veal anyway) elevated in cages with their legs immobiled for the entirety of their lives so that their meat stays in a tender, undeveloped stage. I won't write down the other stuff cuz its really violent. So if any of you reading have asked me about it and all Ive said is "ummm...animals are good?" this is a tiny glimpse into my reasoning. I'm sure people have loads of comebacks for me...animals are here for us to eat them, there's no alternative way of treating them, you'll never be able to get rid of the meat industry so you might as well join the band wagon,etc. But really, learning all I can about it has helped reaffirm my own decision that Ive been practicing for the past 4 years and I think will keep me going for a long time if not the rest of my life. In fact, Id love to cut out eggs as well...it's really difficult in college but we'll see how it goes.

i really hope i didn't piss anyone off with this, it's just my own opinion and you are welcome to do what you like.

It's 5:30 and I am completely done for the day. I got back from my philosophy lecture where we talked about economic justice and was so zonked that I crawled into bed and took an hour and a half nap. Sometimes I think the weekdays are less productive than the weekends. I don't exactly know what to do with myself for the rest of the day. I have just a bit of homework that Ill finish up in the next hour and then sit here and twiddle my thumbs...or eat lots of chocolate. This week looks to be excessively easy as I have ballet and drawing on Tuesday and Thursday and then on Wednesday my class was cancelled so I basically have the entire day free. Man, I really just need to get through April. I think if I were busier then I would be a little happier...damn me for dropping japanese.

Yesterday I mailed off a resume for this Disney Imagineering internship for the summertime. I dont think I'll get it because #1) I'm too young, they usually look for juniors or at least sophomores and #2) Disney doesn't have that many spots available. I think I have a pretty good chance though just through contacts and the like and I'm keep my fingers crossed. The alternative, however, isn't all that bad either. Working a regular job and taking French will be a good way to earn money and get some extra credits done. Either way, Ill be happy.

Last wednesday was Liz's (my roommate's) birthday and I felt really bad for her because she doesn't have any family around to celebrate with and then I felt even worse when i totally forgot that the day was coming up. She didnt really get to do anything special on that day, so i tried to make up for it by taking her out to dinner last night with my family. She doesn't have any way of getting around to places, so we took her to this amazingly delicious Mexican restaurant on Western Ave called El Cholo. They stuck a candle in a small piece of flan and came out and sang to her, we gave her some cool presents, etc. I think she enjoyed it. She even started to loosen up and talk a bit more as the night progressed. I was glad she had a good time because everyone deserves a night out on their birthdays (even if she did get caught smoking in the room again...how many times do I have to kick her ass?) Anyways, it made me feel a little better. I was also so dissappointed that my first time around with the roommate experience wasn't the best and we didnt become super good friends, but i think we live together as well as people can and that's good enough for me.

I've had a fairly interesting weekend here at home. On Thursday, Caitlyn and Tasha (much later) came to USC and we went and had dinner at this amazing hole in the wall Mexican restaurant on Figueroa. I had an egg and potato burrito and ate the entire thing! My appetite, Ive noticed, has gotten a lot bigger since coming to college and actually allowing myself to eat more than a bowl of rice, but luckily I dont think Ive gained any weight luckily. I was going to go out to a party, but decided to come home instead a day early.

I'm working on plans to redecorate my room over the summertime...a massive overall. The theme, except to those who I told about it already, will remain a mystery, but on Friday my mom and I drove around the valley looking at paint swatches and furniture at pier one. I want to shop mostly at thrift stores for furniture because it'll make me feel like I had more to do with the room if I cant get cheap furniture that I can strip the paint off of and fix up on my own. Anyway, I now have the paint swatches taped to my wall to see which one I like the best.

Later on Friday night, I went with pat connor caitlyn and brigitte to The Largo in Hollywood to see JOn Brion perform. Brigitte introduced me to it earlier in the semester and I think it's amazing so of course I was super excited to go and see him. We waited in line for about an hour when this guy from the club came out and told us that they were instating the 21 and over rule, even though brig had gotten in the prior weekend just fine. So we left, and I was really sad that I didn't get to see him, but we decided instead to not let it be a totally wasted night and went to see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. In the movie, Kate Winslet has brilliantly colored hair ranging from bright red, to blue, to green and orange. I thought it was so cool and made me really want to do it...if I had long hair. RIght now, it would look like a big colored puff, but before I graduate from art school, I want to give it a try. And I actually did really enjoy the movie, i thought it was tied together well at the end, though I wont give anything away.

It's such a nice thing that after almost a year of college, I'm still so close to many of my high school friends and they have proved to be extremely important to me. It's sad to think that some who I valued so much in high school think differently of me now, but I figured before the year begun that it was impossible to keep all the friends who went away in search of a new life or a new identity that didn't include me. This was the first weekend i realized i need to stop trying to force it. To those who I still hang out with and who make the effort, you guys are amazing and to the others, I miss you and wish it was different.

Today I spent the entirety of the day gutting my room in terms of all the junk thats been cluttering it from childhood. I cleared my shelves of stuffed animals and trophies and cleaned my whole closet out. I have about 7 trash bags to throw away of stuff. I think it was definitely needed, and will help a lot when I start on the decoration soon. Ok, its 1:40 am so Im heading to bed.

To update on what I said earlier, I went to my drawing class and it actually wasn't as bad as I had built it up in my mind to be. I managed to spruce up my midterm project in time and the teacher didn't say anything negative about it so I'm pretty happy. Then after we did the critique on our midterms we went outside and picked up sticks from the ground and used them to paint a still life with. Yes...I'm not kidding. Safe to say that my drawings came out looking like liquidy blobs.

I have absolutely nothing to do this evening. I think I'm gonna get a jamba juice, kick back and watch gilmore girls, and maybe squeeze in some computer animation later tonight. I'm also going to be putting up some pictures here in the next few days.

I'm back at school now that spring break is over, but this is going to be a very short week indeed. It's already Tuesday afternoon and I have to leave Friday morning again to go to a follow up dentist appointment. It's weird being back...almost like Im ready for summer right now and I don't want to go through the next month and a half of school left. But it's nice to see all of my suitemates again and I've actually gotten more used to my dorm bed than my home bed so that it takes me at least a week to be able to fall asleep well in my home bed. I brought back a bunch of soft foods like mac and cheese (my favorite!), pudding, and even a box of trefoils girl scout cookies. Not the healthiest of diets, I'll admit.

In about 15 minutes I go to my doom, better known as Drawing 101. Today our midterm projects that we have been working on for about 2 weeks is due. I thought it would be a good idea to create a rustic looking frame and a collaged and painted background for my drawings, but then yesterday I started freaking out that my teacher didn't want that and our projects were supposed to be drawings only. So I emailed her and she emailed back last night that my project looked nice, but that she wished I had emailed her earlier and that at this point there wasn't much to do. I got the dreaded "we'll talk more about it in class tomorrow." EEEK!! So I took my drawings and put them on a plain white background and am going to present that today and then ask her which one she prefers me to turn in. She scares me. haha, anyway I don't want to get yelled at so I am just crossing my fingers that it all works out well and that I don't get an F on my midterm for lack of following directions. I'll update on how that goes. I actually have more to say, but I now have to be packing up to go to my doom so I'll update after class...if i live.

I haven't updated in a few days cuz I got lazy, but my last couple of days have been a mix of extreme fun and pain. Last Thursday, I went to disneyland with my mom, brother, and his friend Jackie. I love disneyland. I think out of almost any place I could be, its my favorite. This time, we spent almost the entire day there which was a nice change because usually we only go for a few hours at a time. I decided to screw all my preconceived notions of food for one day and eat as much as possible so I ended up having vegetarian gumbo in a bread bowl from the French restaurant underneath the Disney gallery and by Pirates of the Carribean. Then I had ice cream and pizza from Tomorrowland for dinner. I got to ride Pirates and Haunted Mansion, my two favorite rides in the park. For those of you who are interested, Big Thunder Mountain has reopened. It's been closed for several months because something went very wrong and the train derailed off the tracks and a guy was killed. But now it's reopened and I assume safer than ever. After Thursday's visit, i got inspired to redecorate my room and I think its going to be really interesting looking. More details to come.

A lot of people hate California Adventure, but one of my favorite things is there that not a lot of people know about. Off in a kind of hidden area of the park, there is this really awesome tribute to disney animated features (Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella, Peter Pan,etc). They have this gigantic room where you stare up at 360 degrees of screens that play scenes from the movies. I could end up just sitting in that room for hours on end. They have 4 other side rooms where you can hear about how animation goes from the lightbox drawing boards to the screen, how Walt Disney created his enterprise, how a character goes through numerous conceptial stages, and a room where you can do your own voiceovers. If you ever get a chance, Id recommend checking it out. For a few years in high school, I had firm plans to become an animator and my dream was to work at disney or pixar before I changed my major to graphic design so this sort of thing really appeals to me.

On Friday, a whole bunch of my friends who go to other colleges came home for their spring breaks, but I didnt get a chance to see them because I had to get my wisdom teeth out. I dont really want to go into too much detail about it, but it really wasn't a very pleasant experience. They didnt numb my mouth enough for one of the teeth and I felt it and so they stopped and gave me even more numbing stuff. It was crappy. The few people that I asked said it wasnt a big deal and that their faces didn't swell or anything, and I agree that it wasn't that bad and Im extremely happy to be rid of the teeth, but my cheeks swelled a ton!! Three days later and my cheeks still look like they belong on a chipmunk. Vicadin is a horrible drug. I took some the first day and that was fine, but Saturday morning it made me throw up and was way too strong so I decided not to take anymore and stick to tylenol. Ive managed to eat some solid food including cheese sticks. I figured, at least these few days of eating pudding and yogurt may help me lose a few pounds. I really really want it to be summer time! Im heading back to school tomorrow and am only looking forward to this week cuz Caitlyn and Tasha might be coming to visit me on Thursday and on friday Im coming home to a bbq where I will hopefully be able to see the friends I didnt get to see this weekend. I hope all of you guys are having an amazing spring break!!

Hi guys, just a quick update before I head off to disneyland for the day. yes, disneyland!! I absolutely love how my friends who have blogs attempt to open up a crucial dialogue by writing incredibly intelligent commentary on social and political issues. I love reading these and knowing that I have friends who care so much about the outcome of a society. As much as I wish I could contribute to this open dialogue and I may someday feel up to the challenge of voicing my own opinion on politics, I have a feeling that my blog will be more personal accounts or my thoughts on art or animation or maybe Ill venture into vegetarianism at points cuz these are the few things I have full experience with. In the meantime, i love my friends and am inspired by your views. :)

I was never really a fan of cheesecake...it was always too rich and i didnt like the crust, but after last night's search for the perfect cheesecake I think I have been swayed. I was sitting around all day yesterday bored out of my mind and trying to think of something entertaining to do with my mom. Besides stringing popcorn together and making garlands in preparation for next Christmas time or sitting around and watching the grass in my front yard grow, I was coming up short on ideas. So I spent most of the day working on my drawing project and watching horrible daytime tv. Later in the evening though, Brigitte, Tasha, Noelle, Fausto and I decided that we were going stir crazy and wanted to ride out to old town Pasadena to the Cheesecake Factory. Pasadena, I have to say, is one of my favorite areas of Southern California. Most of the houses are really pretty and big and all different from each other versus the horribly ugly tract homes that cover the santa clarita valley. I remember once when i was driving to my graphic design class at Pasadena Art Center there were two deer just grazing in a patch of trees on the side of the road. It really doesn't get much better than that. I was on my way to Tasha's house with Brigitte (she was driving) and we got pulled over by a cop. We got really freaked out cuz we weren't speeding or anything, but the cop told Brigitte that her car isn't registered and that they needed to get it done in the next 4 days or the cops could tow the car. The cop was actually pretty nice about it, but we decided to stick it to the man so we hit the gas pedal, jumped the median before the cop could get into his car, hit a few girl scouts as we fishtailed, and made our getaway. Just kidding. That would've been cool though. Anyways, we went to the Cheesecake Factory and they have more delicious looking desserts than Ive ever seen. I decided on the chocolate mousse cheesecake which was incredible. The amount of calories was, im sure, sky high and I will inevitably gain 50 pounds because of it but I try not to think about that and eat healthy today to make up for it.

I think I probably won't do much of anything today. I have to go pick up tons of job applications and work on those so today will probably suck, but tomorrow I am going to Disneyland and California Adventure with my mom and brother which I can't wait for. Oh, and congratulations to all my incredibly awesome and talented high school friends who are getting their college acceptance letters. You guys all rock and should come to usc! hehe. It really doesn't seem that long ago that I was going through all the college letter stuff. Time flies...



Raver Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
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The other day I went to see "Secret Window", the new Johnny Depp thriller. I didn't really have many expectations for the film, just that by having Johnny Depp in it I was sure to like it. Really, I think that he could be in a movie where all he did was stand on screen staring at the audience, doing nothing, and not even talk for the two and a half hours...and I'd still pay to go see it. When Pirates of the Carribbean was first coming out in theaters, they did a premiere at Disneyland and my family just happened to go to the park the same day. They told us that many of the rides were going to shut down at a certain time to prepare for the premiere, but if we were already in the park we had the option of waiting by the red carpet for the next 3 hours and then watch the actors from the movie come into the park, get interviewed, etc. Being the incredibly stupid girl that I am, I was like "Psh! I want to go on rides, I dont want to wait around and watch these people walk down the red carpet." So we left. I can't believe I did that though because since then I have learned to love him and that movie...such a shame. Haha, i'm sure that if I had stayed, he would've stopped to talk to me and fall head over heels and leave his beautiful french wife for me. hahahaha. yes. Why is it that it's not that strange to like gorgeous actors who are 20 years older than us like johnny and brad pitt, but at the same time liking someone in real life with the same age difference would be considered rather odd?

I've spent the last few days in a state of utter relaxation and bliss. Yesterday Brigitte and I were bored so we decided to take a drive down the 126 towards Fillmore to the fruit stands that line the freeway. I got some dried apricots and cashews, but i went mainly for the drive down the open freeway, sipping on a raspberry smoothie, and listening to The Beach Boys. I left my driver's licence at school so I'm not able to just take off in my car, but if I get desperate enough I might go back to USC early just to grab my licence. My car has been handed down to my brother because Im never around, and come to think of it I don't even think I've driven since winter break. Having my own car never really seemed that important. We've had beautiful weather the entire break so far, very warm and reminiscent of summer. Usually I hate summer time and love the winter weather (being able to dress in comfy layers and because of all the layers being able to eat a ton and not care because you are so bundled up that no one notices. Not that anyone cares anyway, I tell myself). I can't help but feel rejuvenated though with the blue skies. It almost makes me want to go to the beach...although I've been wrestling with the idea of wearing a bathing suit. I dont really think that's gonna happen and it drives me crazy to think I might never just be ok with my body. It's very very inhibiting, but there's not much that can be done. I'm going to be the girl that, while everyone is wearing skimpy bathing suits, goes to the beach decked out with full length jeans and a tshirt. But perhaps it is better that way.

I MUST work this summer. Ideally, the Disney store would be the perfect place for a summer job for me because it's indoors so I wouldnt be baking or passing out in the inevitable 105 degree heat and also I already know a lot about disney stuff. I'm going to apply for as many jobs as I can find though. I feel like such a slacker that I didn't get a job for this school year and I think it'll be nice to have that money for next year. The idea of an internship is incredibly tempting, but I think it's even more important that Im able to pay for housing next year. I've been researching housing that is not owned by USC, and there seems to be some pretty fair deals on apartments that are reasonably priced one bedrooms that I might apply for. Ok, off to work on my drawing midterm project so that I don't have to do it after I get my wisdom teeth out and am drugged up on vicadin.

Wow, ok...im new to the whole blog thing so bear with me as I get used to this. Anyway, several of my friends have blogs, and although I usually write some thoughts in my subprofile, the idea of having unlimited space to write whatever pops into my head seems even better. I havent decided whether Im going to tell people about it yet, or just use it for my own personal journal. We'll see how these first few go.

Today marks the first day of my spring break and while i love being at usc, this break couldn't have come at a better time. I had kind of a busy last few days because on Thursday night Tasha came to visit me and we went to a party. After staying up almost the whole night, I dragged myself to my 9 am writing class where my teacher had baked us a cake! I guessed that it was to apologize for making us sit there, minutes away from the freedom of spring break, and diagram horribly boring sentences which served no other purpose than busy work. I don't know about anyone else, but I thought it was incredibly nice of her. A lot of people bag on their teachers, but I think they deserve a little more respect when they are trying so hard to be nice and thoughtful. I'm glad I choose USC, although the other alternative keeps coming back to haunt me. I enjoy the diversity of students I meet and the variety of classes I get to take ranging from ballet and the arts to religions of asia and sciences and math. Ok, so maybe I dont appreciate the science and math stuff. Sometimes though I wonder if I would have gotten a better art education at a strictly art college like Pasadena Art Center or Cal Arts. Perhaps it's because Im a freshman and simply haven't gotten into the level of classes where I focus more on graphic design than drawing, painting and sculpture, but I find that most of the graphic design work Ive done this year has just been on my own time and little projects Ive set up for myself. It actually makes me nervous that Im not going to be able to compete with the people who went to an all-art, all the time college where they were getting dumped on with computer graphics training and advertising theory while I've been over at USC taking requirements like writing and religions of asia. Not that I didn't completely love my religions of asia class and feel like a more well-rounded person for learning about it (the benefit of a broad usc program). Sigh, I'm going to wait it out and see how next year when I'm finally able to get down to my major. I've also been noticing more and more how the college you go to really has an effect on your personality. Not saying that everyone automatically fits into the mold that their school has the reputation of creating, but I think that the types of people and the structure of your program does have some bearing on what kind of an adult you become. I think if I went to an art school in particular, I would be radically different than the way I'm heading now.

I love living in a city atmosphere I've decided. I like the hussle, and the traffic, and the events that take place that would not be taking place in somewhere like Santa Clarita. (my thoughts on Santa Clarita will come at a later time) If anything after graduation, Id probably move to a city like San Francisco and try to work in the advertising/graphic department at Pixar....haha, ideally. Not saying I have the skill to. Anyways, for my spring break I don't really have many plans. I'll probably sleep a lot, watch tons of movies, go to disneyland at least twice, work on learning MAYA animation, and hang out with the few friends that have coinciding breaks. It hasn't really sunken in that I am getting my wisdom teeth out on Friday. Ugh! I think Im more afraid of the anaesthesia than the actual teeth pulling. Alright, I think this first entry has gotten a little out of control in length so Ill end for now and update soon.