What a sad day it is today. Well, it wasn't a sad day. I went through the entire day doing my usual wednesday activities, going to photography classes, studying french, eating dinner at the sorority house. Then, as I was walking home from the house I called my brother to see how things were at home and how Taz was doing with the new antiobiotics. As I said, my dog was really sick the last week so we took him to the vet and were waiting to get blood tests back. When I asked matt if they went to go visit him this morning like they were planning on doing, he told me that Taz didn't make it through the night. I kind of expected that we would have to put him to sleep because his pancreas was so inflamed that it seemed pretty hopeless, but I had not expected at all that he would die before I got to see him again. I feel like shit. I saw him over the weekend, but I didn't know things were as bad as they were so I didnt "make my peace with it" so to speak. And now I was trapped at school and my dog died in the middle of the night, alone in some cold vet office hooked up to an IV. He probably felt totally abandoned and I didn't get to be there with him or even say goodbye. I couldn't feel worse about the whole thing. Yesterday I was starting to feel like i didn't have feelings when I was chatting with my brother. He was saying that he had been crying all day and I wasn't nearly that sad and I was starting think that I was heartless or something, but as soon as he told me today that Taz died I started bawling. I'm fine now, but I'm so depressed that I'm never going to see him bouncing around the house again or see his fat little body with wagging tail on the couch when i walk in the door. It's not really registering.
Maybe it sounds stupid to some people. He was just a dog, it's not like he was a person, but I've never had a dog before and he's been around since I was like 11 years old. My dad suggested putting up some pictures of him around the house and creating a little mini-shrine. I think that it's a nice thought. I really miss my dog.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
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4 comments:
I am really sorry to hear about Taz Sarah. He was such a jolly little dog, and I loved seeing him. One of my big fears is that Spencer will go too when I'm not around, and it's just sad because they're always around to cheer you up. But yeah, actually, pretty silly, but now I feel like crying too because I've got pictures of Spencer up and I just want to take her on a walk again. And dogs might not be like a person, but they're as close as you can get to a person walking on all fours and covered with hair and who are actually nicer than most people you meet.
Im sorry you lost a companion...just because he was a dog doesn't mean he provided any less comfort to you...at least you got to have an experience like that in your life, some people never know a relationship to a pet like that..
taz will be missed by everyone who knew him; i think he has a special place in our memories of the kamlet house. and i'm sure he knew that you wanted to be with him... he never got anything but love from you.
It's not silly. I went home to see Whitney one weekend when she wasn't doing well. A couple days later, I was stressed out and getting ready to go take the Spanish exit exam when I got an email from my Mom saying they had to put Whitney to sleep early that morning. I think that's the only time I've cried in the last couple years.
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