I find a fatal flaw in the logic of love

I haven't updated in a few days for a number of reasons. I havent had much of interest to say and also I've been in a rut this week and generally feeling down and out. If you've seen me walking around campus, you probably noticed that I had headphones in probably listening to something really scary like Static X or Glass Jaw, was walking fast, and was glaring ahead and growling at anyone who got in my way. But now that my week is practically over (only two classes tomorrow) I think things are looking up. Today was my first REAL photography class. We got to go into the darkroom and learn how to develop a photogram, which isn't developing from a negative. Instead, you put random objects on top of a paper, set the exposure time, and the picture leaves an imprint that looks kind of like an Xray. I think it was mainly to teach us about how to develop using the different tubs of liquid: developer, fixer and water. I had a lot of fun and I think that I will be spending a lot of time in the darkroom this semester. It won't do much for my tan, but no matter. In the victorian era, extreme paleness was attractive. I was born into the wrong millenium, I'm telling you. Looking at photography might be a newfound passion that I never knew I had before. I have to fill a roll of 36 pictures up by monday which means going to take pictures around campus and around Valencia. Ideally, I would want my photos to have some sort of social significance rather than just shots of my dog or of flowers. I would like to find something to say with them, but maybe that'll come when i start shooting pictures. I'm looking forward to having another artistic medium to work with. Photography always has a lot to do with graphic design, but up until now I was fairly clueless about how the whole process worked.

Not much else going on this week. My social life has dwindled to pretty much nothing due to lots of homework and I missed the application deadline for committees at ADPi so I'm worried Im not going to be as involved as I would like to be. Diamond ball is coming up still in less than a month which i am conveniently trying to overlook. I decided to not go to any rush events this week after last week's fiasco. I am thinking about applying for a work study job, but I want to see how the semester goes a little bit more. New Line Cinema guy refuses to call me back. I've called twice and I'm beginning to feel like a stalker even though he's the one who called first. I've been thinking back and I actually think I dated more in high school than I have in college. High school, I don't know what it was, but I ended up going out on actual dates to movies, dinner, stuff like that so it felt like I was dating. College is a weird hybrid of dating which usually includes watching a dvd in your apartment or going to a party on campus and I dont like it. Maybe it's just me, but there don't seem to be actual dates so it leaves me confused...was that a date? I don't do well with this ambiguity. Anyway, USC might not be the best place for dating. Almost every guy I've liked here at school has decided to go out with blond, thin, beachy, fashionable, runway model types. But as my mom said, she was too busy to date much in college. She said that she didn't worry because she figured it would just happen when it was supposed to happen or if not, hey, she liked herself. Cut out all the crap of giving it a second thought. And it did happen for her, 25 years of marriage and counting. And it'll happen for me too, or if not, hey... I like myself. :)